I've been debating on whether to write this post- yet another MIL bash. I had thought, 'Ya know... you and J have a great relationship... maybe you should give his mom credit for raising him and not be such a biotch and focus on when she's not an a$$hole... even though those times are few and far between... be the bigger person.' Then dinner this weekend happened and I shake what a fucking asshole she is. I'm sure I'm being really sensitive but I can't figure out why I feel so threatened by this beast.... I usually get along really well with women my mom's age and older and even just women in general... I even got along with buttheads in the workplace in my younger years who I knew were nightmares (M*astri- remember Jax B*att? Haha) but we'd just laugh it off because they were harmless and we didn't care what they thought anyway.
So it all started on Friday MIL babysat Monkey while I took H with me to my final counseling session where we talked about how much we love our golden retrievers most of the time. Then we said our good-byes sadly (I think she will miss me too) and she told me to call if I started to feel crazy again.
I went to pick Monk up at MIL and MIL had given her this old stuffed bear she had laying around. That night J came home and said, 'Is it okay if we go to my parents house for dinner Saturday night?' I said sure.
Saturday night we arrive and they ask about the bear and I said she carried it around all day but Hannah (the golden retriever) kept snatching it so now we have to keep it in the playroom. She got all huffy and said, 'Well I didn't GIVE it to Hannah.' This caught me off guard. I didn't say Hannah ruined it in any way - she didn't. She just kept taking it. And then I saved it by putting it in the gated off playroom. So why the attitude? To be honest, I wanted to punch her in the fucking face. I felt where this dinner was going. In fact, I have half a mind to take a scissors to that bear right now, photograph it and email her a picture of it saying "Hannah thanks you for the delicious teddy bear."
Alright, this blog is going to be quicker than I thought bc Hilly is freaking the eff out next to me. She had 4 vaccines yesterday so she's not feeling particularly patient today. Little does she know what an asshole her grandma is.
So over dinner she managed to criticize people who never went to college, people who were overweight, people who fed their kids junk food (ahem... she used to give J an endless supply of regular Coke. I don't give 2 craps if she gave him an endless supply of lard- I'm just pointing out the hypocrisy), people who choose to be hairdressers (also ahem.. she suffers from alop*ecia and has relied heavily on her stylist for years to cover her bald spots and my cousin is a stylist and she's hot, cool and happy so wtf do we care how she brings in her income? she's bringing in more than I am these days, that's for damn sure.) and there was another... oh, addicts (the particular addict that she was criticizing suffered repeated molestation as a child so.. I mean give a guy a break?) She's just generally a jerk. Throughout this conversation J kept saying, "Mom. That is so mean. There is nothing wrong with that occupation. As long as they are happy, why do you care? Why are you making comments like this?" It was an atrocious display of intolerance.
We were also talking about labor and I mentioned that I had come so quickly that my mom didn't have time for an epidural. She said, 'Well I don't think it would hurt that bad without one...' Really? Because I had one and when that started to wear off I almost fucking sliced my uterus open and pulled the baby out myself- because I thought performing surgery on myself would hurt less than the pending contraction. I'd also like to add she never gave birth naturally and she hasn't given birth in 33 years.... so I'm a little fucking confused about where her intimate knowledge regarding pain of natural childbirth is coming from.
Alright, before I write her a vicious email, I have to stop venting. I hate her, guys.
1 comment:
MIL is crazy! And I love reading about her. The whole stuffed bear thing could be great material - taking pictures of it in weird places and then casually slipping one in once in a while with regular family photos - like sitting on a bar stool, laying next to an empty wine bottle, reading a dirty magazine... you get the idea. Wouldn't that really make MIL crazy! As always, I enjoy your post! I still hate that I never got to throw you that "virtual baby shower". Ha!
Post a Comment