Puppy paws

$266 later, one of those puppy paws has a sprained toe. (See how the paw on the right has toes that are a bit more swollen?) This is my pup. She was so excited to see me on Sunday morning that she lunged out of her crate, leaving "toe #3" behind. I spent today at the vet reading Ladies Home Journal and waiting for Hannah's x-rays to be completed.

We bought new furniture this weekend. We replaced that kitchen table that I hated and purchased a new sofa (and possibly a 2nd sofa & a 7 foot tall silk plant-- the jury's still out).

Also went to a 30th bday party for J's high school friend, which was fun, but I felt like I got too drunk. I overdid it on the open bar- drank my weight in chardonnay. It was my first day off meds.

I'm exhausted.

More tomorrow.

BabyShower

I would like to update that the baby shower wasn't bad. I had a trillion jobs, by the way. But then I realized its because my sister-in-law has no sister, and I shouldn't be a huge b*tch.

Other Rooms

Hi! Here are some more house pictures. These are from the first week that we moved in so we have unpacked all the boxes that are in these pictures.


Above is the little room off the kitchen to eat in. We have since replaced the towel on the floor with a proper door mat. And we no longer need the flashlight to walk the houds at night, as we've replaced the lightbulb out the back door.

Here is our fancy dining room filled with boxes of clothing. This is completely cleaned up these days.

This is the other side of our kitchen eating room & our temporary table we swiped from J's sister. I'm not into this country look, but.... it's a free table, eh?

Rolling Desk Chairs

Ya know how J loves lamps on a stick? Well, he also loves desk chairs on wheels. I hate desk chairs on wheels, particularly these days where there are a plethora of cords chilling underneath the desk that constantly get tangled up in the wheels. When he told me he was heading to target to pick up a desk chair, I should've realized the reality of the situation (he was going to pick up a rolling desk chair) & gone to chaperone. He just called. I asked him if the desk chair had wheels. His response: "Yeahh... that's all they had.... we don't have to keep it forever or anything. I just needed one for this weekend."

We will keep it forever. This makes me sad.

Random Things

1. I bought a cheap large mirror from Bed, Bath & Beyond ($60). Realized it was cheap, decided to return it. It broke in the car on the way to the store. Now it is unreturnable.
Lesson: Cheap crap breaks.

2. I'm the only one in the world without a bracket. I just want Duke to win. And I want to watch only the Duke games (with a few Pitt highlights).

3. My golden retriver is sticky.

4. I just spent $174.00 at the grocery store. I'm making my sister in law (pregnant) & brother pumpkin bread. I figure that at 8 months pregnant, baking pumpkin bread isn't something one feels like doing.

5. Her baby shower is on Sunday. I haven't purchased a present for her yet.

6. I thank Jesus Christ every day that this baby shower is not my responsibility.

7. I'm still on antibiotics. The lump is less sore, but it is still there.

8. I still fear that I was misdiagnosed and actually have cancer.

9. If I did find out I had cancer, I would probably feel guilty about being grateful that I didn't have to help out at this shower.

10. Once I get there, my mom will probably order me around & I will find out that I do actually have to help out at this shower. I was hoping to drink a glass of wine & chill with my grandma. Sigh.

Nothing New

I'd like to report that I made it through yesterday with flying colors and a ton of productivity, despite how my morning began. And I never did get my nightcap. I'm on antibiotics, afterall.

At 7:30 I must attend a NJ Zoning Board Meeting for one of my courses. These "extras," while usually not *so* bad after the fact, BLOW. I mean... the fact that I'm about to embark upon 3 hours of reading before my class today at 2:30 isn't enough? We have to "report back" on our class website about how it went. I am one of the few who haven't reported back (because I haven't done shiz). Anyway, I perused the "reports," and I was disappointed to find that they were detailed. Evidently I attend class with a bunch of overachievers.

Anyway, this post is even boring ME. I think this high level of boredom is what is encouraging me to want to become a bus driver and have a litter of children.

Lately I have been wanting kids-- multiple kids. The other week I told J that I wanted us to have twins. He told me that we could only have kids if I agree to breast feed (probably his way of discouraging me from this kind of talk). I hate breastfeeding. I hate the idea that my body WANTS to breastfeed. For the record, I want to adopt.

What truly brought me back to my senses was an incident in Barnes & Noble. Sitting there minding my biz, reading a book on a random bench, I overhear 2 ladies chatting in the kiddo area (which is not partitioned off by any sound proof wall.... which they didn't seem to notice). Their converesation was SO BORING!!! I think they were discussing kindy-garden curriculum. It was terrible. Meanwhile, little Johnny is "playing" with toys, and by "playing," I mean WHINING for his mother to play with him.. because evidently Johnny cannot play by himself. "Moooooooooom! [whiney grunt, whiney grun] Moooommmmy! [whiney grunt]" I wished Johnny had never been born.

Finally, Mom & boring lady ended their boring conversation about boring stuff & Mom told Johnny it was time to go. Johnny was apparently having FUN whining and not playing by himself because he started to whine, "Moooommmy, I wanted to stay at MCDONALD'S! (whiney grunt, whiney grunt)!" Rinse & repeat. He thought Barnes & Noble was McDonald's Playland. But can you blame him? She never even told him to be quiet- a behavior that one would think a mother might want to impart upon her children: "Johnny, other people are reading. We're in a bookstore/library. Stop screaming. You are not the only person that exists in this world. By the way, this is Barnes & Noble, not McDonalds." To boot, she had a baby in tow. Because, apparently, she wanted another Johnny.

When they walked by me [loudly], I made a face.

Clearly, I am not ready to procreate.

Lists

This morning on my drive to work I simultaneously listened to the White Stripes and wallowed in a pool of my own self-pity. I have nothing to look forward to today. I have class until 7:45PM. In the meantime, I have to sit through a 1.15 hr class on taking Depositions, read for Bankruptcy (BO-RING!), read for tomorrow's Administrative Law class (equal parts boring & complicated) AND/OR write a paper on the First Amendment freedom of speech clause. While in theory this last task *could* constitute studying some relatively interesting material and issues..................................it doesn't. The pressure of writing these 8 pages in a manner that scores an "A" for me outweighs any personal interest I may possess on the topic of free speech. Bummer, right?

I had more fun going to the doctor yesterday and finding out that the bump is not in fact a pimple & is a swollen lymph node. The realization that I have been obsessively pushing (really hard) on a swollen lymph node sends waves of nausea through my body. I'm on antibiotics. I learned that you CAN drink while you're on antibiotics. This made me feel better because the anticipation of enjoying my evening bloody mary with J & the doggies is what gets me through the day.... I suppose this is why attorneys are alcoholics. Because their days suck so much. (Although, admittedly, while I was working the past 2 summers in law related jobs, I liked the work, the people & the money I received. So I suppose I have an aversion merely to law school. This comforts me).

Now that I'm through venting, I thought of some jobs that are superior to going to law school:

1. Bus Driver. All you have to do is not show up drunk. Who cares if the kids yell? They're on the bus for like 45 minutes. No biggie.

2. Hair dresser at a low-end salon. Nobody likes to deal w "Type A's" who are willing to spend $100s on their hair-- I don't even like dealing with in real life in non-job related actvities. I'll take a job at Cost-Cutters, make friends with my fellow stylists, cut some hair for $7/hair cut, have a few laughs, call it a day.

3. Waitress. I've always loved waitressing. Despite the fact that there's always some b*tch complaining about the temperature of her soup, you secretly don't care if she EVER comes back to the restaurant and therefore, you don't sweat her anger. In fact, you prefer that she NEVER return. This reminds me of the woman who ordered a pizza at the place I was working a few summers ago. She wanted a pizza with bacon. I delivered to her a pizza with pepperoni, without thinking. I suppose it had been a long day for me. WOOO-WEE, was she pissed. How silly! It's a PIZZA. To this day, I bet the dummy stews over that waitress who had the AUDACITY to deliver her a PIZZA with PEPPERONI as opposed to the BACON that she ordered. She ended up getting a free pizza. Even her 2 daughters were embarassed and needlessly overtipped me to compensate for their mother's obnoxious behavior.

A few jobs that are NOT better than law school:

1. Working at my old job for the Pegg-meister. Because at least I'm not verbally & emotionally abused in law school. I'm just bored.... which is precisely the way I felt sitting at that d*mn desk all day *pretending* to be busy so that she wouldn't harass me for just sitting around (which is... precisely what a secretary is paid to do, is it not?) Not according to Peggs, folks, not according to Peggs. I had to EARN that $18K/yr.

2. Sometimes I think being a bartender would suck because of the off-hours. But bartenders seem to enjoy themselves, so I'm hesitant to include this occupation on this portion of the list.

3. Being a Dell computer service person (usually in India). Despite the fact that the caller on the other end of the line is located in a warmer climate, I feel like dealing with people like me all day who have viruses on their computers from pirating music illegaly would not be fun. Mainly because you cannot fix their problem and they're already cranky. I bet the desire to hang up on them is intense.

4. OB/GYN.

5. Dental assistant.

Beyonce and Amber

So today I'm getting that painful thing I pray is a pimple checked out. It's the same size as it was on Saturday, and still hurts. There are no lymph nodes near that part of my back-- just muscle. I'm so sick of thinking about it, touching it, googling it, making J examine it, worrying about it. I am calling 30+ doctors until I find an appointment today. If I am unsuccessful, I'm going to the emergency room. I told my mom about it and she laughed.

On another note, in this world of constant change, I'd like to send a shout out to that which never seems to change: Beyonce's awesomeness. Seriously, every song she sings is a bona fide hit. I love her.

Evidently, I do not love her as much as I love Amber Smith from Celebrity Rehab (and Sober House). The other week I had a sex dream about her. I awoke feeling guilty and confused. I immediately confessed to J.

Me: "I feel guilty."
J: "Why?"
Me: "I had a sex dream about Amber Smith."
J: "Really?"
Me: "Yes, are you surprised?"
J: "A little."
Me: "Do you feel weird?"
J: "No, it's just a dream."
Me: "I guess. I still feel guilty, though."
J: ".....................................................so did you touch boobies?"

House Tour 1

Disclaimer: These pictures were taken in the first week. We have virtually no furniture. I will upload more pictures as I take them.


Let's begin:

The Kitchen- it's small, but secretly super cool.

In the photo above, our fridge is in the background. It's built into the cabinets, which I thought was pretty cool. Through the doorway to the right is our dining room. Through the doorway to the left is a kitchen/eating area with a doorway to our backyard.

This is the other side of our kitchen (you can see the doorway to our kitchen eating area on the right). That's a built-in espresso/coffee maker. While this is something we would NEVER spend money on, it came with the house, which we thought was awesome. And we use it all the time. The drawers below it are refrigerator drawers (for wine/beer/whatever.. we use it for beer... obviously). Our kitchen is way more awesome than we are, for the record.

I'm standing in the living room taking this picture. Those little stairs lead to a landing. Then you can either go upstairs or back down a few stairs to get into the kitchen. It's called a "butterfly staircase."

Again, I'm standing in the living room. That's our staircase. Yay.

Ok, that's it. I will take more this week. But now I must pay attention in class.

Kisses!

Neck Probs

Last night we watched Milk-- which I highly recommend. I spent the better part of the movie with my head in an awkward position-- laying down with my neck resting against a 90 degree angle.

At the end of the film, I got up and realized my neck hurt. I touched it & it was super sore and I felt a lump. Well you can imagine how well THIS went over. I immediately diagnose myself with Stage 4 neck cancer.

It's delicate to the touch & there's a definite lump. I've spent a great deal of time examining this thing all last night and all day. I'm praying that its just a painful zit. At this point I don't know if it hurts only because I've been gripping it for the past 17 hours.

Oh, and I spent yesterday drinking DogFish Head (which rules) & painting furniture. This is while everyone else was out boozing and celebrating St. Patrick's Day. I don't celebrate this holiday. I feel as though it is still too cold out for bar crawls. And I always get stranded somewhere, longing for my warm house, a shower, food, and bed. I realize I am in the minority.

Memories

As I look back on law school, I realize a few things & remember a few people.

Realization 1: I still don't "get" it, despite my decent grades. I have no magical outlines to share (or outlines in general), no "special" notes, no tricks, no tips. Nothing. Just a general, 'DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!!!!'

Person 1: Asian girl from OldLawSchool. Went to MIT, majored in engineering, was an engineer for a few years, claimed to get excellent grades, told great stories. Mid-way through our friendship, I suspected her stories were fabricated for my amusement. She wore sweatpants every day, travelled with a backpack on wheels. Loved pizza, studied from 4AM onward. Was in bed by 8PM. Had to call her boyfriend to ask before she did anything social. When I transferred she continued to call me all the time & wanted to be invited to my wedding. I only answered her call once & then stopped.

Person 2: Woman from NewLawSchool. Older, "non-traditional" student. Huge biotch. I only know her from 1 class & I was shocked to learn that she loved to be rude in pretend class "lawyering" play-scenarios lead by the professor. Wears"hip" clothing, has kind of a young body but an old, old face. The kind of face where when she shuts her mouth, you feel like there might be no teeth behind them lips, if ya know what I mean. Anyway, I was sad to learn that I disliked her. I've never even spoken a word to her.

Person 3: Girl from NewLawSchool. Drives a BMW, is a runner, has red hair, freckles and a ginormous nose. Stares at me. Eats Cliff Bars during class. Once I smiled at her and she didn't return the smile. So I immediately emailed M*ke H*mmer (Consort) to tell him what happened. He wrote some reassuring words that comforted me in my time of need. I get sad when I look at the class roster and see that she is on it.

My shadow....

is shaped like an 11 week old golden retriever puppy.... which I constantly trip over or fight with over the true ownership of my shoelaces.

I got everything done on my to-do list & cleaned all floors & the bathrooms. Today I'm meeting a friend from my (hopeful) law firm for lunch, as she's panicking at the thought of our pending lay offs. For those of you who don't know-- although I suppose only lawyers/law students would know-- law firms are laying off by the hundreds. But what industry isn't?

I, however, refuse to worry. I'm confident that everyone can handle it. And not reading the news helps a lot. It's nothing but a centralization of panic.

Alright, I must start studying now.


"Everything will turn out right, the world is built on that."— Woland in Mikhail Bulgakov's The Master and Margarita.

Transcripts

Today is the day that I retrieve my transcripts from every school I've ever been to. This entails driving to the city, sitting in the computer lab, printing out the necessary papers, faxing/mailing the necessary papers, AND heading over to the school's transcript office to do the same.

I then plan on taking a detour & checking out Ikea. I need a painting for the kitchen.

I am contemplating drinking a beer w my Gpa. But I know if I do, that will take up the rest of my day (the drive home) & I will be exhausted & useless when I get home. Like last night. Watching the Real World Brooklyn took a TON of work, so.....

Last night we gave Lou a marrow-bone (cow bone w bloody stuff & bone marrow inside). She started chewing it. When I pet her, she growled. She was punished & crying so loudly. It was like she was fighting her animal instincts. Lou v. Inner Animal. Needless to say, I felt like I lost my best friend. So I chucked the marrow bone. B*tch.

Updates

Hi!

Ok, this is going to be short because I want to watch Deconstructing Harry again & after spring break, I will be forced to be in front of my computer. Which sucks.

Anyway, I spent today at the mall w N*na picking out engagement rings. I'm the one to tell her BF what she wants. It was surprisingly tiring, but fun nonetheless. On a more personal note, I'm hoping that I am able to do the electric slide at her wedding.

Last night I hung out w M*chelle R*ss. J & M*chelle drank scotch while I had beers. She ended up puking all night (poor thing) & J passed out cold. I took turns checking their pulses. They both were up & out by 8:30 AM (to work) & I (the sober one) slept until 10:00 with a beagle & a golden retriever. We played a mean game of Scattergories. When I get people drunk, I try to convince them to play either Boggle or Scattergories with me.

Yesterday during the day I went to the mall w my mom. She's now in Jamaica.

I caught Lucy humping Hannah. With skill.

Spring Break Day 1

I would like to report that my last shower was Saturday. 2 days ago. I'm still wearing sweatpants (the same ones), but I have changed both my underwear & my tank top. This does not make me feel any cleaner. Poor J has his first trial today & had to wash himself out of a basin of microwaved water (Sexy!). Our shower will not even TURN ON when the water heater is shut off (or broken, in our case). There is no "cold shower" option, which seems odd & either archaic or high tech.

I've been filling out my bar application, and I have to list every place I've ever worked and lived, along with traffic violations, tons of college info, old resumes, etc...

Confessions:

1. In 2004 I never paid my taxes. This has been weighing on me like a ton of bricks. I made so little money I probably would've owed under $200. I'm going to try to fix it, but I fear that they're going to slam me with like 400% interest. Anyway, I never got a w-2. Thanks, employer.

2. 12 years ago I got a speeding ticket. I was 16. My 10 yr driving record doesn't reflect this fact.

And that's it. A relatively clean slate for what felt like a somewhat rocky life at times. Not so. I plan on disclosing the above, for the record.

Also, of all the little restaurants I worked at, it wants me to list the manager. For realz? Am I supposed to call Pizzeria Uno (I worked there for 2 months as a hostess) & ask who managed the joint in March of '03? I also wokred at a restaurant in Manhattan for 1 day-- called the MJ Grill. I was shadowing & never got paid. Do I list this? Because I technically "worked" there.

Ugghers.

Water Heater

So last night after dinner, J goes downstairs and calls for me. Me: "What's up?" & J: "Just come here." No good. And no good is right. I'd rather him found a dead body in our moderately scary basement. Alas, it was flooded. Our water heater broke. I didn't even know what a water heater was. I STILL wish I didn't know. Woe is me.

$750 later, we will have hot water (Tomorrow. Today would've been an extra $400. Sunday is evidently the plumbers' day of rest). As for now, I sit dirtily in my sweatpants on our crappy couch, wishing that we could both take a hot shower and spend that $750 on a NICE SOFA. Or table. Or 3 pairs of high end jeans. Or plane tickets. Or something we WANT. Not a contraption to heat our water. This blows.

Neighbors

Ahh! I'm totally freaked out.

So I just went to get my passport picture taken for my test tomorrow (you have to attach it to your test ticket), and I drive back. Our neighbor (there's a husband & wife & a 1 yr old kid) is outside with the kid in the stroller emailing on his blackberry or whatever. I slowely collect my things in my car, hoping he goes inside or walks away or disappears because I apparently hate meeting new people (which isn't entirely true... I just felt really awkward, though... at least I wasn't in sweatpants, which is a rarity these days... I put on jeans for the occasion...went all out).

Anyway, I emerge from car, smile at baby & hear neighbor say, "Can you say 'Hi,' B____?" So I take this as my cue and introduce myself. He seems like a perfectly nice neighbor and I learned a lot about his wife/kid/dog- as well as some neighbors. They're all dog people.

I feel pretty abnormal, though. Do other people avoid their neighbors like I do? I'm a pretty social person, but I've never really mastered the whole "friends w your neighbors" thing. Does someone offer to have the other over? Is it just casual mailbox talk? When does this happen? When in the relationship does it stop feeling weird?

I would rather be friendly with them than run from them & they seem super cool. But knowing me and my creepy ways-- it'll be awkward until one of us moves. J & I should've just gone to live on a farm.

Procrastinating

I'm FREEZING in the library, don't feel like doing my hw for my 2:30 class, & I ate my lunch (its not even 11am). I'm still hungry. But I'm lazier than I am hungry, so...

Anyway, last night I returned from my night class, kissed doggies & J, went upstairs to change. Hannah followed, jumped on the bed, and immediately peed, soaking our clean flannel sheets & mattress pad. An angel indeed.

J changed the sheets, I cleaned the mattress pad and then we watched the rest of Born on the 4th of July.

Clearly I have nothing to update. So here's a video I took of the 2 dogs last week in our old apartment. (I still promise this won't become a puppy blog). See how small our old place was??

Back

Hi!

This has to be quick because I have a ton of reading to do for my class today. We moved over the weekend which was hectic, as one might imagine. We have no cable or internet yet- I realized the true extent of my internet addiction & dependence at that time. I had no idea that a snow storm was coming.

Anyway, the new house rules & I'll post pictures ASAP. I have the ethics portion of the Bar Exam this Saturday, so studying for this has been taking up a majority of my time. Everyone says its easy-- which is code for: if you fail, it's super embarassing. So I'm determined to not let that happen.

Umm... oh, and I have a commute to school. I only have class 3 days/wk, so it certainly could be worse. This morning on 95 (where everyone is going 70mph), a car stopped -- literally STOPPED on 95 because the driver wanted to switch lanes. I know that this is just biotching about traffic and such-- and my nickname is Cruella for a reason-- but I have never seen something SO DANGEROUS IN MY LIFE. I hate to hope that she has a bad day, but I do. She was a young girl with a bunch of people in the car & an out of state license plate. So there was probably a reason for her terrible action. But I hate her.

Oh and the puppy pooped on the treadmill. That sucked. And she had a ton of accidents over the weekend. And she's teething. So, basically, she feels at home. We have hardwood floors now (is that what they're called?) so accidents aren't as dramatic as they once were. Much easier to clean.

Other note: My dad's dog (Maggie, for those of you who know her) was 5 when they got a new puppy. She ended up with lymphoma & dying right before Christmas. The vet said that sometimes a new puppy can create stress on an adult dog which may result in lymphoma. I don't see the connection, but I'm not a vet. Anyway, I just got an email from my friend Jackie-- she has a 5 year old beagle & got a puppy last August. Her beagle now has lymphoma. Needless to say, I'm terrified that Lou will get lymphoma due to the stress that Hannah's presence will place on her. Lou is only 3.5 years old so I'm hoping this works in her anti-lymphoma-favor. But I'm paranoid and my eyes tear up just thinking about it. UGH.