Hoarding

Okay, okay.  I've been convinced.

So we all know what a character my step-dad can be.  And by "can be," I mean- IS.  Like, almost 100% of the time. 

He always had his office in the backroom of the basement.  He kept it under lock and key.  This was where he hid his porn collection and kept all of his work stuff, etc... It bothered me mainly because his office was also the gateway to a back room in the basement that I loved to explore because it contained relics of my life before him (which I consider my true childhood- no offense to him.  But once he entered the picture, life as I preferred it with just my brothers, my mom and myself in our old house was gone). 
My step-dad and his creepy basement.  So once we all moved out of the house, he started to migrate upstairs.  This happened very slowly.  And I noticed because he was always in the living room watching TV (the family room is the main TV/hang out room at my mom's house) and his "stuff" started to appear, slowly but surely in the non-hang out place.  His new lair.  The very first thing that appeared was this old rusty bell.  It was a piece of sh*t.  All rusted with a wooden handle.  It clashes terribly with my mom's perfect mom-country-esque decor and just sucks.  When I would be home, I'd move it to the back of the shelf on the entertainment center.  I'd wake up the next morning (usually on a break from college) and the bell would be moved to the forefront.  I couldn't believe he gave a crap about this bell.  The 2nd item were these 2 books filled with his family's geneology.  Anyone reading this blog knows my knee-jerk reaction to any such book concerning my step-father's family.  I want those books GONE.  But that's just mean.

I noticed a few other things- the fact that they needed a new computer chair (my mom is not one to use a busted up chair, my step-dad absolutely is- so I knew that he must have sort of taken over the computer area, which is in the living rom). 

But then, it happened. My mom told me on vacation that my step-dad is straight up a hoarder and she has confined his hoarding to 2 rooms in the house: the living room that has become his lair and the garage.  Now if I were married tosomeone like him (which I never would be), his entire person would be locked in the basement.  But my mom obviously isn't as bothered by him as I am. 

So while dropping off my mom en route to the beach, J and I stopped in to check out the scene. 

The living room.  My mom has this entertainment center- she used it to display nicer items:  hummels, a porcelain baby statue (for lack of a better description) that was willed to her by my great grandmother, a vase my late grandfather gave to her upon his return from a trip to China, a few framed pictures, hummels, etc... She kept it nice.

Are you wondering what it looks like now?  During my step-dad's 17 month or so period of unemployment (he is now employed again), he developed a fondness for model cars from movies: like the car from Austin Powers, the b*atmobile, etc.. He has about 30 of them displayed all over the entertainment center in their boxes.  So while he sits there watching TV he can look at them? I have no idea.  I think he believes these items are increasing in value.  He also has this weird coin fetish and has his coins displayed everywhere.

I believe there is also a train set of some sort as well.

He also has his collection of beer glasses from, like, Planet Hollywood.  He is not a beer drinker and these glasses are not novelties.  And please do not get the impression that this is morphing into a cool "man cave" because he still has my mom's old decor up- its just shoved to the back of the shelves.  And everything is slowly going to h*ll.  The couch is a little too worn in, as I said, the computer chair is broken, supposedly he got a virus on my mom's computer that.. get this... did nothing but erase Microso*ft Word!  ????  What is this guy's deal?

The garage:

Literally floor to ceiling with sh*t.  I mean- he even hoards MY old belongings which p*sses me off.  He has a visor of either mine or my old brother's from this restaurant we used to work at (not at the same time, for the record).  He has a million sombreros, bikes, toys, a Santa Claus outfit (creepsville, right?),a million half gallon empty ice tea jugs (my mom claimed his aunt makes cider and he's saving them for her.... meanwhile they are festering in a hot garage in July.  Something tells me she's lying to make him look less bad).  He has a fridge that doesn't work.  I opened it to find OPEN bottles of wine (he doesn't even drink at home).  So there are open bottles of white wine in a broken fridge in a hot garage. Yummy.  It goes on.  He also has this cotton candy maker, a popcorn thing - none of this in working order- a set of lockers, about 5 or 6 plastic gas containers, stacks of magazines. 

J & I were in complete aww.  We felt like we should have paid admission to witness this miracle.  This miracle of sh*t.