Vacay

So we just returned from a very trying vacation- trying mainly because J was only able to come for part of the vacay (we were with various members of my side of the fam) and taking care of a toddler and baby on location is seriously impossible.  Actually, it's just hard to get them to eat enough at one sitting and then to sleep long enough for you to feel rested.  The beach with my family was uneventful and fun.  Then.... we had the annual fam reunion for J's side.  I anticipated terrible things.

Evil SIL- SO MUCH BETTER - this time, that is.  She has been taking these bar method classes and looked seriously awesome.  She lost a ton of weight and started using sunless tanner (ahem, I've taken a great deal of heat for my love of sunless tanning over the years- INCLUDING from Evil SIL, which is the most annoying.  But I am just happy she wasn't a b*tch this weekend.)   As I grow older, I'm learning much criticism I receive has more to do with the person doling out criticism and less with my behavior.  I am going to use this logic on myself when it comes to the critique of my MIL that I am about to offer.  Perhaps my feelings on her will tell me something about myself.

Just heard Monkey scream for me.

So she was fine- actually helpful- w baby H, who decided this week to be on a mission to self-destruct.  Put everything she can find in her mouth, crawl near ledges, try to stand up in dangerous places.  So I thought, "Wow.  MIL is really helping." and I was exhausted to I really appreciated it.  Then we get the kids to bed and an hour later discover baby H had a blow out and now has poop ALL OVER her and ALL OVER her pack and play.  DUDE.  The poop was like dried at this point and it was so upsetting to see my little love all covered in it.  So MIL was a huge help in this area too- she called me from the porch to tell me J found it, then as I ran a bath for a sleepy baby H, she brought a towel, etc... it's the little things.  Like, someone offering to dress the 2nd kid or feed the 1st or even put shoes on a child.  Huge help.  At home, this stuff is no biggie- but when you're traveling, it's tough bc all routines are thrown out of whack.

So I am exhausted and depressed that I am at a boring family reunion, sitting at a table when one of J's uncles (or aunt's bf) started telling me about sleeping in a submarine.  I had a million questions: how far down does the sub go? Can you see sea creatures outside the sub windows? Are you chased by sharks? MIL kept rolling her eyes at his conversation bc he has a reputation for being very boring in the family, but this was easily the most interesting conversation I had in a long time.  He was forced away by his gf to go cook hamburgers and it was MIL and I, drinking wine.  She said, 'Your hands sure are full.  I hope you don't plan on having another child for another few years."  Dude, SO F*cking none of her business.  Like, none.  I did not respond.  I would've give her the satisfaction of telling her any plans at all (we don't have any, btw).  But I just ignored her. 

Then later she was slurring her speech- true to form- and said "I know you are your own person, and I know that me saying this will just make you want to go have another child."  I nodded like, 'Yes, you are right.  So be quiet.'  (For the record- I told her at the beach when Monkey was 7 months that I don't appreciate people telling me how to space my children and it makes me want to have a lot of children ASAP.  She said, 'Is this your way of telling me not to comment?' and I said, 'yes.').  What I am confused about is why she cares.  My mom spent a week with us and not once comment on another child.  She just enjoyed the week.  She doesn't care. 

So anyway, I escaped this conversation.  Then the last day of reunion she said, 'Should I fill Monkey's cup with water?'  I said, 'That would be great?'  She said, 'With tap water?'  I said, 'That's fine.'  She responded, 'Well is the water safe here?'  I said, 'Well, I am not about to go research it.'  I mean, wtf?   Then Good SIL chimed in, probably sensing that I was about to grab the cup from MIL and fill it myself or tell her to just fill the f*cking cup with bottled water then- we had plenty, saying, 'Tap water is fine here.  The locals drink it.'

Also, every convo I heard her engage in made me want to punch her.  J's one cousin is a hardcore college rower and MIL said, 'I always thought I would row.  Now is it mostly your arms or your legs that are worked.'  Well, ass, judging by the fact that every female rower (there were 3 in the room) is built like a linebacker, I'm going to say ARMS.  But I guess what bothered me was her preface that she would like to row.  If I really thought she'd pick up rowing at the age of 66, she'd be my hero, but instead she's just an idiot asking questions.

She is just so much more annoying than any other female relative of J's- aside from Evil SIL when she is feeling particularly hateful.  His aunts are awesome.  Okay, baby H is now screaming too. I have to go.  I feel bad about feeling this way towards MIL but I do.  It was just a long week.