Feb 26 has come & gone. I forgot to give details.
Well, due to snow, my 6 wk postpartum appt was rescheduled for March 2. But we did the deed anyway. And, to be honest, it was kind of painful. Since I no longer have a huge pregnant belly, I foolishly assumed that we'd resume right from where we picked up last April (when Monkey was but a twinkle in our eyes). But, alas, it appears it's going to take a bit more time til we're at that point again.
Despite the doctor's lack of express clearance, as it's been 6 wks, I began my work-out regime with full force. I forgot how f*cking miserable working out is. Particularly when you're just getting started. The amount of self-discipline it takes to even look at the treadmill is remarkable. I also feel like it's easier to motivate to work out when you LIKE your body. To motivate, I tried to put on a pair of my work pants that don't fit like they used to (they button, but I have a muffin top). Rather than motivate me, this made me feel super depressed. I exercised anyway, but with an overwhelming feeling of "What's the point?" Lesson: Working out with a negative attitude is 1000x harder than working out with a positive one. It's getting easier as the days progress. And I'm already seeing results in my abs, but I'm not trying on any more pants for 2 wks. Maid of honor advised me to avoid carbs. This worked for 2 hours... until I reached for a hand full of pretzels, laughing to myself at my failure. I suppose no-carb or low-carb diets aren't for me. Oh well.
Alright, well Monkey is sleeping, so I'm going to take this opportunity to work out before I start overthinking it & it never happens.
And HAPPY LAST DAY OF FEBRUARY!!!!! We made it. How much does February suck????
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
Creepy Employer
I've learned that many babies aren't into cuddling. That would be the opposite of Monkey. Last night at 9:25pm she turned 6 wks old. As I type she's passed out cold on my chest- on her belly, face buried into my chest, one arm laying above her head & the other tucked into my armpit. I like this position bc I can easily smell & kiss the top of her head. Or wrap my arms around her warm little body. Even when she's stinky & smells like formula, I think she smells wonderful. I tried to put her down for a proper nap like 5 times today so I could do laundry or go running, but each time she wakes up in 5 minutes. She only wants to nap on me. I surrender. I now understand why mothers are the least reliable witnesses for a defendant in a criminal trial.
So that lawyer in NYC. He was a solo practitioner but shared an office & occasionally work with a small law firm. He was about 45, Jewish, and newly married. He also had Parkinson's. He wasn't a mean-spirited person or anything, it's just that there were a few things he said/did that in retrospect were inappropriate.
Example: He often called cars for me (as opposed to making me hail my own cab). I worked late one night & we were waiting for our respective cars in the building's glass vestibule. My car pulled up and he said, 'Eh... what the hey! Let's just make one stop tonight!' This statement confused me, so I said, 'What?' And he nervously laughed and said, 'Haha, just kidding. Maybe if I was younger.'
I still don't really "get" it. I mean.. did he want to hang out w my roommates and I, assuming we'd be partying? Or was he, like, trying to bang? Umm.... I don't get it. I always hoped the former.
Example: For the summer I was living with Derek & T (female). He constantly made statements about how lucky of a guy Derek was. This always bothered me bc Derek never hooked up w either of us girls... and he didn't want to (well, except on my last night in NYC when he asked if we could please have s*x now that I was leaving NY- I said no. I was never really attracted to him & I'm almost positive that he's selfish in bed... in which case... what's in it for me?). Anyway, he made this comment to his law clerk w a sort of creepy pervert laugh at least 3x a week.
Example: One time I was walking by him in a tight space and the back of his hand brushed against my a$$ & he, like, didn't quickly move his hand.... or move his hand at all. That was weird.
See what I mean? Like, he wasn't creepy enough for me to realize at the time that he was being creepy. But in retrospect, I see that I was a young college girl & his hand shouldn't have been anywhere near my a$$... in real life, there ain't no accidental a$$ grabbing... particularly without a quick withdrawal of the hand & a sheepish and sincere apology.
But, alas, no harm no foul I suppose. I just feel bad for his wife. I did at the time too- he would always take his time getting to work in the morning, be very unproductive all day long and then decide to "get some work done" at like 600pm-- at which time he'd beg me to stay late to work with him since I "helped him focus." His poor wife would call from home at around 6:30, wondering when he would be home. She ate dinner alone like every night.
For their first anniversary he bought her an expensive watch. On his computer I saw the note he printed out to go with the watch. It said something along the lines of "this watch represents the timelessness of my love for you." Shizzle... lose the watch and eat dinner w the gal, ya know?
But he didn't cheat or anything with other women. I had full access to his emails, cell phone, etc.. His ex-gf contacted him once. She was an NYU grad student and a painter. She emailed him a picture she had painted of his naked back. He showed it to me, but acted like it wasn't his back, but I knew the truth. He never responded to her email. Her name was Jen.
Since I left NYC, his wife gave birth to a son.
So that lawyer in NYC. He was a solo practitioner but shared an office & occasionally work with a small law firm. He was about 45, Jewish, and newly married. He also had Parkinson's. He wasn't a mean-spirited person or anything, it's just that there were a few things he said/did that in retrospect were inappropriate.
Example: He often called cars for me (as opposed to making me hail my own cab). I worked late one night & we were waiting for our respective cars in the building's glass vestibule. My car pulled up and he said, 'Eh... what the hey! Let's just make one stop tonight!' This statement confused me, so I said, 'What?' And he nervously laughed and said, 'Haha, just kidding. Maybe if I was younger.'
I still don't really "get" it. I mean.. did he want to hang out w my roommates and I, assuming we'd be partying? Or was he, like, trying to bang? Umm.... I don't get it. I always hoped the former.
Example: For the summer I was living with Derek & T (female). He constantly made statements about how lucky of a guy Derek was. This always bothered me bc Derek never hooked up w either of us girls... and he didn't want to (well, except on my last night in NYC when he asked if we could please have s*x now that I was leaving NY- I said no. I was never really attracted to him & I'm almost positive that he's selfish in bed... in which case... what's in it for me?). Anyway, he made this comment to his law clerk w a sort of creepy pervert laugh at least 3x a week.
Example: One time I was walking by him in a tight space and the back of his hand brushed against my a$$ & he, like, didn't quickly move his hand.... or move his hand at all. That was weird.
See what I mean? Like, he wasn't creepy enough for me to realize at the time that he was being creepy. But in retrospect, I see that I was a young college girl & his hand shouldn't have been anywhere near my a$$... in real life, there ain't no accidental a$$ grabbing... particularly without a quick withdrawal of the hand & a sheepish and sincere apology.
But, alas, no harm no foul I suppose. I just feel bad for his wife. I did at the time too- he would always take his time getting to work in the morning, be very unproductive all day long and then decide to "get some work done" at like 600pm-- at which time he'd beg me to stay late to work with him since I "helped him focus." His poor wife would call from home at around 6:30, wondering when he would be home. She ate dinner alone like every night.
For their first anniversary he bought her an expensive watch. On his computer I saw the note he printed out to go with the watch. It said something along the lines of "this watch represents the timelessness of my love for you." Shizzle... lose the watch and eat dinner w the gal, ya know?
But he didn't cheat or anything with other women. I had full access to his emails, cell phone, etc.. His ex-gf contacted him once. She was an NYU grad student and a painter. She emailed him a picture she had painted of his naked back. He showed it to me, but acted like it wasn't his back, but I knew the truth. He never responded to her email. Her name was Jen.
Since I left NYC, his wife gave birth to a son.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
NYC... again
My mom drove down yesterday to babysit Monkey while I ran some errands. I was able to hit up Target & the post office... just in time for yet another snow storm. DUDE. When she left I was overcome with sadness.
The photo above was taken in I believe early 2004. I lived in this E. Village apt during my last 2 semesters in college in NYC. I'm sure my friend (who doesn't know this blog exists) would love to know her face is posted online. Actually.. she probably would. She was a theater major. Anyway, I always loved her dark hair.
This was a 2 bedroom apt. I shared a bed w my friend, T (not pictured... if you recall, she's the one who hit a bowl in her bra through airport security on the way home from our roadtrip to St. Louis: http://negativemaiden.blogspot.com/2009/07/st-louis.html). It was DEFINITELY a huge party place & that got old for me really quick. One night I woke up & she was propped up on one arm, staring and me, & lovingly stroking my cheek. The next morning she had no recollection of this incident.
The summer was fun, though. I was an assistant at a law firm & I would work late a bunch. In retrospect, this lawyer was kind of a creep but I needed a job. My rent was like a billion dollars. When I'd come home at like 10pm, my apt would already be filled w all our friends. I got a standing ovation when I walked in- bc everyone was already trashed. Derek (our token male roommate from Minnesota) would have shots lined up, ready for me to take. We always went to this bar that I hated in the Lower East Side. It was jam packed with alternative types and there was graffiti all over the walls. Derek would bring his graffiti markers & "tag" buildings & stuff on our walk to the bar.
I remember I loved taking the subway in the summer.
I'll write more about the creepy lawyer I worked for in a bit.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Ghost Story
Last night I received, as a gift from my offspring, 5 consecutive hours of sleep! Monkey woke up, drank her bottle & passed back out for another 3 hours. And then another 2. So, I'm well rested & since she's still asleep- I figured I'd try to blog. Hmm...I like trying to write about things I'd surely forget if not for my desire to recount them online....
Oh! Ok.
So my extended family owned a beach house in a neighboring state & we vacationed there multiple times a summer. It was a cape cod style. When you'd walk up the living room stairs, the door would open to like a giant room with 6 beds (the door opened in the middle- there were 3 beds on 1 side, 3 on the other). It was more attractive than this sounds. There were bedrooms downstairs as well. My brothers and I (7, 9, & 12, respectively) slept upstairs. My entire family was at the house.
Older Brother ("B") & I were laying in our beds upstairs when all the sudden he said to me, "M. Look at the door knob [to the door that goes downstairs]." The ceiling had skylights, so it wasn't pitch dark or anything. I looked over at the door & thought I saw the door knob slowely moving back and forth- steadily, not erratically. He said, "Do you see that?" I told him I did, but I didn't believe my eyes so I got up for a closer look. I was about 1 foot away from the door & completely shocked that it was still moving side to side, as if someone was slowely turning it. B joined me. We just stood there watching it.
B said to me, "Open it. I bet it's Uncle J." My family isn't big on practical jokes (this side of the family is downright boring), but...this could be the only explanation. So, in the midst of this doorknob twisting, I opened the door and, dude, nobody was there. These were creeky, wooden steps-so even if someone would have the ability to fly like lightning down them, it would've been LOUD. I immediately went downstairs to assess the situation. My mom, step-dad, & aunt were watching TV quietly in the dark. Everyone else had gone to bed. I asked my mom if anyone had just been upstairs- she told me to go back to bed (somewhat angrily... I guess bc I was young & she assumed B & I were up to no good).
So there's my story. I actually just got off the phone w B to confirm that he still remembered the twisting doorknob. He does. We went over the facts again. We deduced that it would make no sense for a relative to twist the knob bc the adults would've assumed we were sleeping- and the twisting doorknob was silent. It wouldn't have woken us up. B can't believe he actually even noticed something as subtle as a moving doorknob across the room.
Oh! Ok.
So my extended family owned a beach house in a neighboring state & we vacationed there multiple times a summer. It was a cape cod style. When you'd walk up the living room stairs, the door would open to like a giant room with 6 beds (the door opened in the middle- there were 3 beds on 1 side, 3 on the other). It was more attractive than this sounds. There were bedrooms downstairs as well. My brothers and I (7, 9, & 12, respectively) slept upstairs. My entire family was at the house.
Older Brother ("B") & I were laying in our beds upstairs when all the sudden he said to me, "M. Look at the door knob [to the door that goes downstairs]." The ceiling had skylights, so it wasn't pitch dark or anything. I looked over at the door & thought I saw the door knob slowely moving back and forth- steadily, not erratically. He said, "Do you see that?" I told him I did, but I didn't believe my eyes so I got up for a closer look. I was about 1 foot away from the door & completely shocked that it was still moving side to side, as if someone was slowely turning it. B joined me. We just stood there watching it.
B said to me, "Open it. I bet it's Uncle J." My family isn't big on practical jokes (this side of the family is downright boring), but...this could be the only explanation. So, in the midst of this doorknob twisting, I opened the door and, dude, nobody was there. These were creeky, wooden steps-so even if someone would have the ability to fly like lightning down them, it would've been LOUD. I immediately went downstairs to assess the situation. My mom, step-dad, & aunt were watching TV quietly in the dark. Everyone else had gone to bed. I asked my mom if anyone had just been upstairs- she told me to go back to bed (somewhat angrily... I guess bc I was young & she assumed B & I were up to no good).
So there's my story. I actually just got off the phone w B to confirm that he still remembered the twisting doorknob. He does. We went over the facts again. We deduced that it would make no sense for a relative to twist the knob bc the adults would've assumed we were sleeping- and the twisting doorknob was silent. It wouldn't have woken us up. B can't believe he actually even noticed something as subtle as a moving doorknob across the room.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Remember MIL?
Well, I have to admit that since I birthed her granddaugther (daughter... is that how you spell it? Isn't that a weird word? All of the sudden it looks really foreign to me. And its spelled pretty crazy too... I feel like it should be spelled "dotter." Isn't it weird when that happens?) Anyway, since I fulfilled my New Year's resolution, my relations with my MIL have overall improved. I've tried to implement advice I've been given (smile & nod, agree, don't take it so personally & try to let it roll of your back, let her think she knows it all)- and it's been working- not without a few minor setbacks, though.
Breast report: Back to old size. Sometimes in the shower I see that they're leaking a bit. Oddly, this doesn't freak me out at all. They look like they did pre-preg, but perhaps a little less perky. I'm not sure, though, since it's been 10 mos. since I've seen my pre-preg boobs. And 2 wks ago I was sporting the perkiest DDs I've ever seen!
I've been wondering lately- if I don't do a lot around the house by day & I haven't been watching ALL that much TV.... where does the time go? I've developed a respect & admiration for the stay-at-home-mom. Because I am meeting needs (and not my own) & the needs are never ending. And- again- I have an EASY baby. It's nice to be in a place in life where there's nothing else I'd rather be doing- bc I can see how you'd be totally miserable otherwise. And if I were like, 19, & all my friends were out on bake rides, partying, and I hadn't gotten it out of my system, etc... I'd be MISERABLE. But, luckily, I'm old & boring & perfectly content caring for my grumpy little chicken nugget.
But, seriously, it's impossible to get anything done. Like sorting mail? Not gonna happen. Occasionally, I'll run the dishwasher. 99% of the emails I've written since Jan 14 have been typed with one hand. The idea of reading a book that isn't very short chapters or succinctly presenting me with "need to know" information (a la a parenting book) is laughable. Movies have even been challenging since my mind is constantly tuned in to what the baby is doing/needs. At any given moment- she's hungry, must be changed, bathed (THIS takes forever), burped, burped again, fed again, naps on my chest (immobilizing me.. bc if she doesn't get a good nap, she's a grump later), fed again, burped again, changed again, naps on chest for 10 minutes, wakes up, wants to eat more, cries a little- is she hungry still? need to be changed? bored? I also need to ensure she gets "tummy time" by day & I also constantly have to moisturize and lightly brush her little scalp to prevent cradle cap. I hear this all gets easier. And I'd like to add that I'm not complaining- just relaying my experience. I love her so much and I cherish the days I get to spend with her before I have to start working.
A fascinating event: Sunday morning- baby went to Target. The sweet smell of commerce. Now that I don't have a stomach the size of a beach ball, I'm stoked to buy inexpensive clothing with wreckless abandon. But I must remember that my day to day will soon involve me wearing suits in Corporate America... not running around school in my ripped jeans, t-shirts, hoodies & flip-flops- like it has since 2006.
Breast report: Back to old size. Sometimes in the shower I see that they're leaking a bit. Oddly, this doesn't freak me out at all. They look like they did pre-preg, but perhaps a little less perky. I'm not sure, though, since it's been 10 mos. since I've seen my pre-preg boobs. And 2 wks ago I was sporting the perkiest DDs I've ever seen!
I've been wondering lately- if I don't do a lot around the house by day & I haven't been watching ALL that much TV.... where does the time go? I've developed a respect & admiration for the stay-at-home-mom. Because I am meeting needs (and not my own) & the needs are never ending. And- again- I have an EASY baby. It's nice to be in a place in life where there's nothing else I'd rather be doing- bc I can see how you'd be totally miserable otherwise. And if I were like, 19, & all my friends were out on bake rides, partying, and I hadn't gotten it out of my system, etc... I'd be MISERABLE. But, luckily, I'm old & boring & perfectly content caring for my grumpy little chicken nugget.
But, seriously, it's impossible to get anything done. Like sorting mail? Not gonna happen. Occasionally, I'll run the dishwasher. 99% of the emails I've written since Jan 14 have been typed with one hand. The idea of reading a book that isn't very short chapters or succinctly presenting me with "need to know" information (a la a parenting book) is laughable. Movies have even been challenging since my mind is constantly tuned in to what the baby is doing/needs. At any given moment- she's hungry, must be changed, bathed (THIS takes forever), burped, burped again, fed again, naps on my chest (immobilizing me.. bc if she doesn't get a good nap, she's a grump later), fed again, burped again, changed again, naps on chest for 10 minutes, wakes up, wants to eat more, cries a little- is she hungry still? need to be changed? bored? I also need to ensure she gets "tummy time" by day & I also constantly have to moisturize and lightly brush her little scalp to prevent cradle cap. I hear this all gets easier. And I'd like to add that I'm not complaining- just relaying my experience. I love her so much and I cherish the days I get to spend with her before I have to start working.
A fascinating event: Sunday morning- baby went to Target. The sweet smell of commerce. Now that I don't have a stomach the size of a beach ball, I'm stoked to buy inexpensive clothing with wreckless abandon. But I must remember that my day to day will soon involve me wearing suits in Corporate America... not running around school in my ripped jeans, t-shirts, hoodies & flip-flops- like it has since 2006.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Half a Baby Pic
There is my baby's nose & mouth. See the little light in her nose that reflects off of her nose mucus? I find that cute. It's love. Bc I probably wouldn't find it cute on just any old babe.
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