1. My computer is broken. I'm using J's. I do plan on getting a new comp, but I was hoping to put $600 (I'm just getting a Dell. I'm done with the more expensive brands since they all seem to die in 2-3 years anyway) towards student loans, so I'm bummed & procrastinating.
2. I'm drinking a delicious beer and Monkey is sleeping on the bed right next to me. She had a blow out today at daycare. I was happy because she hadn't pooped since Saturday.
3. Today was June birthday celebration day at work. The June birthday coordinator brought in enormous cupcakes. I thought to myself, 'I will only eat half.' I broke it in half and threw the rest in the garbage in my office. 5 minutes later, I thought, 'I want the rest.' So I picked it out of my trash and ate it.
4. Yesterday morning I let the dogs out and fed them and then returned to the bedroom to finish getting ready. J went down & let them out a 2nd time. He then let them in. When I emerged from the bedroom, a nasty smell hit me like a lead pipe. I moaned in disgust and left for work. Upon returning home, I again was hit with this putrid odor. J came home and I asked him wtf is that smell? He didn't know. We both began the search for something dead hidden amongst the dog bedding... to no avail. We still haven't located the smell. I plan on washing the dog bedding tonight but I do not feel like it.
5. I asked J if we could try for another baby and he said (without missing a beat), "ARE YOU CRAZY??????!!!!!!!!!!!" I would really like to experience a paid maternity leave and the job security that only a pregnant woman possesses. Monkey is also such a joy that I sometimes really do think I want another right away. But then I remember that it will detract from the amount of time I get to spend kissing her chubby cheeks and squeezing her fat little thighs. But J's not ready (and who am I kidding? I'm not either). He is the voice of reason and- yet again- I am the voice of adding living things to our household. Because I would also like a male kitten named Roger.
6. Dude, I usually don't talk current events, but how about this oil spill?? The visions of the suffering animals covered in oil haunt me, as I'm sure it does you. And the price of shrimp is set to increase? DAMN. (Obviously, I care more about the animals' well-being, but I do love me some shrimp). If BP were my corporation, I would at least have the decency to remain by the spill to oversee attempts to curtail the problem. Even if you can do nothing, showing that you give a sh*t can really go a long way.
7. I spent last weekend putting together our new table and chairs, painting, and hanging enormous Monkey pictures. It's like she is our god. Speaking of the man upstairs, she's being christened in August and we're having a small party at the house, which has motivated me to furnish and decorate. (I know 7 months is a little old for a baptism, but I couldn't get my stuff together before then). We no longer have the excuse that we "just moved in." And now that I'm employed, we really have no excuse. Remember that table I painted last spring? It's now in the basement. I'll take a picture of my work once I get the new computer. I'll do before and after pics of the house.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Saturday, June 26, 2010
5 years ago....
....my beagle was born. A few short weeks later, she would be mine for good (for better or for worse, right Lou?).
Lou & I both know that I was not in the position to be caring for a dog- I was struggling to handle my self! But I've always had an impulsive streak & when J bet me that I was all talk & wouldn't get a dog, I had to show him up. We looked in the local newspaper for available breeds & saw "Beagles $275." J was paying, so he got a say in the breed. In retrospect, we were nowhere close to marriage at that point, so I wonder wtf I was thinking in letting a new boyfriend pick something as permanent as the breed of the dog that would be mine for the next (God-willing) 15 years.
Anyway, we called 2 numbers. The 1st number said we couldn't come til tomorrow & the 2nd said to come ASAP. Off we went. We arrived in a very not-rich part of town, parked on the street, and awkwardly rang the bell. The houses were super close together. 3 children answered: all of them in their bathing suits. A cute, chubby little girl explained to me that they had just returned from the beach. They had this ornate, intense hamster contraption- it was like cages and then tubing that winded (wound?) all around the living room. They were serious about their hamsters. D*mn serious.
The mother came in & said the puppies were out back (in the sap of a tree) & she'd bring them in. She returned carrying 2 beagles & the 3rd beagle ran passed us like lightening- so fast that I tried to catch it & couldn't. A blur of black, tan and white. J insisted we get a girl (I wanted a boy dog) but again, as he was paying, I acquiesced. I asked which ones were female. She pointed to the seemingly lame beagle (it could barely walk and seemed sickly) & tried to point at the beagle with ADHD. J nabbed the hyper-active beagle and she ran up his body & licked his face. We cracked up and were like, 'Guess this is the one!' She only took cash, so we ran to a nearby ATM & returned, paid for the beagle & went to Petco. J stayed in the car with the beag while I went in.
This dog was more work than I ever imagined. People say "Puppies are a lot of work!" but until you have a puppy- you have no clue. Same with babies. This dog destroyed EVERYTHING of mine (and some of my roommates' stuff too). I cried when I found that she had chewed 4 pairs of my brand new, un-worn Victoria's Secret underwear. They even had pretty flowers pinned to them. J & I didn't live together yet so Lou was all my responsibility. My aunt works at a vet & paid for her to be fixed and to get all her shots (my job paid VERY poorly). For the record, J and Lou are BEST FRIENDS FOREVER these days. No joke. Once we moved in together, those 2 were inseparable. He's the only one she obeys. At our old, old apartment, I was sitting in "Lou's" chair & she sat in front of the chair whining. At one point J looks up at me and goes, "M... will you please just let her sit there???").
Anyway, I didn't love Lou yet, and she was a sh*t ton of money and work. But I'd never give her away or anything. No offense if you've done this (if I knew affirmatively that someone reading this had ever done what I'm about to criticize, I never would write this. But whatever, I have a million faults that I usually lay right out there too- one of which is insulting people accidentally) - but I HATE when people adopt an animal and then return it. Of all the character flaws within people, I find that one of the worst. She "barked back" at me when I'd yell at her (she still does), is more stubborn than you ever could imagine (still is), & had way too much energy (the energy has been depleted. She's now as lazy as the rest of us). She spent her days alone from 745am until 530pm. I still feel guilty about this today & that is the reason we got Hannah.
I realized I loved her one day when I was out walking her. She was constipated and a poop was stuck half in/half out of her butt. She started to panic & jumped up on my knees for help. Her eyes were so filled with emotion- she was literally pleading for help. She knew I was her caretaker. And Lord knows, she was such a handful, that nobody else in this world was going to put up with her bullsh*t. I took the bag that I was going to pick up her poop with and helped her out of her situation. I knew we were in it for the long haul.
Oh, and the best part: nighttime. I did the whole crate thing at night. She'd wake up to go pee like 3 times and then be up at 430am again. She'd cry and pace. I quickly realized that if I let her sleep in bed with me, she'd sleep through the night (a lot like an infant, frankly). Before I started co-sleeping w Lou, I removed the plate at the bottom of her crate so I wouldn't hear here little nails clicking all night long- so she'd just be walking on carpet. Well, she dug through the carpet, obviously ruining it, right through to the wooden floor beneath it). I also used to keep 2 sneakers by my bed. The first time she'd wake up and start whining, I'd chuck one sneaker at the crate and that would buy me about an hour. Then I'd chuck the 2nd one. That would buy me another 30 minutes before I had to walk her. Despite our rough beginning, I started to enjoy her company more and more. One night my drug-addict roommate came home at like 3am. I heard the door and woke up. I looked over at Lou & she was listening too. We looked at each other until we heard another noise. When we heard my roommate's voice, Lou sighed and laid her head back down to go back to sleep. That's when I was officially hooked. I realized she was me in beagle form.
So, Lou, thanks for ruining all my sh*t. But more importantly, thanks for STOPPING ruining all my sh*t. Thanks for still not listening to me when I yell for you to come inside (by the way, isn't a fenced in yard great?). And thanks for being a good sport (thus far) when it comes to new additions to the fam. Because you and I both know it started out just you and me. And now there are 3 others (all of whom you like better). I'm sorry I was such a lukewarm mommy to you in those early years. I'm sorry for serving you oatmeal for breakfast when I didn't have any money or dog food. I'll never forget the way you sniffed the oatmeal & then looked back up at me like, 'For real dude? Wtf is this?' I walked away but when I returned at 530, you had licked the bowl clean. Thanks for always letting me use your back as a pillow. I'm sorry you ate my roommates joint & got super high and started walking funny. Thanks for keeping us warm the night our landlord turned off our heat in December. Thanks for watching so much TV with me while I was pregnant. Thanks for always loving to cuddle, despite all of our many differences. Thanks for the company when the baby was born & I needed a breather from the intensity of the change. I always wished we never got you fixed so that we could have grandbeagles. You've been a true companion to me.
Happy 5th Birthday, Loubear. I pray for another 10 more. But since you came from a puppy mill, there's no telling what might happen.
Lou & I both know that I was not in the position to be caring for a dog- I was struggling to handle my self! But I've always had an impulsive streak & when J bet me that I was all talk & wouldn't get a dog, I had to show him up. We looked in the local newspaper for available breeds & saw "Beagles $275." J was paying, so he got a say in the breed. In retrospect, we were nowhere close to marriage at that point, so I wonder wtf I was thinking in letting a new boyfriend pick something as permanent as the breed of the dog that would be mine for the next (God-willing) 15 years.
Anyway, we called 2 numbers. The 1st number said we couldn't come til tomorrow & the 2nd said to come ASAP. Off we went. We arrived in a very not-rich part of town, parked on the street, and awkwardly rang the bell. The houses were super close together. 3 children answered: all of them in their bathing suits. A cute, chubby little girl explained to me that they had just returned from the beach. They had this ornate, intense hamster contraption- it was like cages and then tubing that winded (wound?) all around the living room. They were serious about their hamsters. D*mn serious.
The mother came in & said the puppies were out back (in the sap of a tree) & she'd bring them in. She returned carrying 2 beagles & the 3rd beagle ran passed us like lightening- so fast that I tried to catch it & couldn't. A blur of black, tan and white. J insisted we get a girl (I wanted a boy dog) but again, as he was paying, I acquiesced. I asked which ones were female. She pointed to the seemingly lame beagle (it could barely walk and seemed sickly) & tried to point at the beagle with ADHD. J nabbed the hyper-active beagle and she ran up his body & licked his face. We cracked up and were like, 'Guess this is the one!' She only took cash, so we ran to a nearby ATM & returned, paid for the beagle & went to Petco. J stayed in the car with the beag while I went in.
This dog was more work than I ever imagined. People say "Puppies are a lot of work!" but until you have a puppy- you have no clue. Same with babies. This dog destroyed EVERYTHING of mine (and some of my roommates' stuff too). I cried when I found that she had chewed 4 pairs of my brand new, un-worn Victoria's Secret underwear. They even had pretty flowers pinned to them. J & I didn't live together yet so Lou was all my responsibility. My aunt works at a vet & paid for her to be fixed and to get all her shots (my job paid VERY poorly). For the record, J and Lou are BEST FRIENDS FOREVER these days. No joke. Once we moved in together, those 2 were inseparable. He's the only one she obeys. At our old, old apartment, I was sitting in "Lou's" chair & she sat in front of the chair whining. At one point J looks up at me and goes, "M... will you please just let her sit there???").
Anyway, I didn't love Lou yet, and she was a sh*t ton of money and work. But I'd never give her away or anything. No offense if you've done this (if I knew affirmatively that someone reading this had ever done what I'm about to criticize, I never would write this. But whatever, I have a million faults that I usually lay right out there too- one of which is insulting people accidentally) - but I HATE when people adopt an animal and then return it. Of all the character flaws within people, I find that one of the worst. She "barked back" at me when I'd yell at her (she still does), is more stubborn than you ever could imagine (still is), & had way too much energy (the energy has been depleted. She's now as lazy as the rest of us). She spent her days alone from 745am until 530pm. I still feel guilty about this today & that is the reason we got Hannah.
I realized I loved her one day when I was out walking her. She was constipated and a poop was stuck half in/half out of her butt. She started to panic & jumped up on my knees for help. Her eyes were so filled with emotion- she was literally pleading for help. She knew I was her caretaker. And Lord knows, she was such a handful, that nobody else in this world was going to put up with her bullsh*t. I took the bag that I was going to pick up her poop with and helped her out of her situation. I knew we were in it for the long haul.
Oh, and the best part: nighttime. I did the whole crate thing at night. She'd wake up to go pee like 3 times and then be up at 430am again. She'd cry and pace. I quickly realized that if I let her sleep in bed with me, she'd sleep through the night (a lot like an infant, frankly). Before I started co-sleeping w Lou, I removed the plate at the bottom of her crate so I wouldn't hear here little nails clicking all night long- so she'd just be walking on carpet. Well, she dug through the carpet, obviously ruining it, right through to the wooden floor beneath it). I also used to keep 2 sneakers by my bed. The first time she'd wake up and start whining, I'd chuck one sneaker at the crate and that would buy me about an hour. Then I'd chuck the 2nd one. That would buy me another 30 minutes before I had to walk her. Despite our rough beginning, I started to enjoy her company more and more. One night my drug-addict roommate came home at like 3am. I heard the door and woke up. I looked over at Lou & she was listening too. We looked at each other until we heard another noise. When we heard my roommate's voice, Lou sighed and laid her head back down to go back to sleep. That's when I was officially hooked. I realized she was me in beagle form.
So, Lou, thanks for ruining all my sh*t. But more importantly, thanks for STOPPING ruining all my sh*t. Thanks for still not listening to me when I yell for you to come inside (by the way, isn't a fenced in yard great?). And thanks for being a good sport (thus far) when it comes to new additions to the fam. Because you and I both know it started out just you and me. And now there are 3 others (all of whom you like better). I'm sorry I was such a lukewarm mommy to you in those early years. I'm sorry for serving you oatmeal for breakfast when I didn't have any money or dog food. I'll never forget the way you sniffed the oatmeal & then looked back up at me like, 'For real dude? Wtf is this?' I walked away but when I returned at 530, you had licked the bowl clean. Thanks for always letting me use your back as a pillow. I'm sorry you ate my roommates joint & got super high and started walking funny. Thanks for keeping us warm the night our landlord turned off our heat in December. Thanks for watching so much TV with me while I was pregnant. Thanks for always loving to cuddle, despite all of our many differences. Thanks for the company when the baby was born & I needed a breather from the intensity of the change. I always wished we never got you fixed so that we could have grandbeagles. You've been a true companion to me.
Happy 5th Birthday, Loubear. I pray for another 10 more. But since you came from a puppy mill, there's no telling what might happen.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Night Shift
Surely I've written on here about the night shift at a hotel? Either way, it's what's on my mind.
The summer after my freshman year of college, a friend of mine and I decided it would be a good idea to work the night shift. She chose the local grocery store & I chose to be the night auditor at a hotel.
First of all, there was no security. I could've been raped and killed a million times over.
Second of all, I vividly recall walking into the grocery store on my night off & seeing my friend wearing her headphones (she was listening to NSync) while scanning or doing something over at the make-up section. I ran over to eagerly say hello and she had blood shot eyes and a look of determination. It cracks me up to this day.
The hotel had a big screen TV and I had access to the complementary continental breakfast. What's a pothead to do? I'd smoke a fatty with my friends, bid them good-bye, raid the continental breakfast closet and watch some late night sitcoms or Larry King Live or whatever the hell else my high a$$ wanted. A local semi-pro bball team was staying there at the time (during their season) & one or two of them would typically chill w me for awhile as I watched TV. Later on their girlfriends would call and try to get me to admit to them that their boyfriends were cheating on them. They totally were (but not w me!). At around 2 or whenever my friends were done socializing for the evening, they'd stop by my hotel to hang out in the lobby with me en route to their warm cozy beds. Later on in the night, my boss would call. I had a huge girl crush on her- her name was Ellen. And this may have been my only girl crush that was requited. She would call me from her home at like 2am ostensibly to see how I was doing (or I at least like to think so), but I think she loved me- and we talked for HOURS. On my last day she was on vacation so she left me a note. I remember being SO SAD that she wouldn't be there and when I saw the note in my cubby I was so happy. During this same time, I had a good friend named Luke who, like a normal straight person, was vying for the opposite sex: ME. He was like my slave all summer. He also called me every night and got jealous of Ellen. I've since tried to google-stalk both Luke and Ellen and I can find nothing on either of them.
ANYWAY, in August I moved to day shift.
Oh, and I could always tell if someone watched a dirty movie. Bc the dirty movies were like$13 and the non-dirty movies were like $9. And it was always business men.
The summer after my freshman year of college, a friend of mine and I decided it would be a good idea to work the night shift. She chose the local grocery store & I chose to be the night auditor at a hotel.
First of all, there was no security. I could've been raped and killed a million times over.
Second of all, I vividly recall walking into the grocery store on my night off & seeing my friend wearing her headphones (she was listening to NSync) while scanning or doing something over at the make-up section. I ran over to eagerly say hello and she had blood shot eyes and a look of determination. It cracks me up to this day.
The hotel had a big screen TV and I had access to the complementary continental breakfast. What's a pothead to do? I'd smoke a fatty with my friends, bid them good-bye, raid the continental breakfast closet and watch some late night sitcoms or Larry King Live or whatever the hell else my high a$$ wanted. A local semi-pro bball team was staying there at the time (during their season) & one or two of them would typically chill w me for awhile as I watched TV. Later on their girlfriends would call and try to get me to admit to them that their boyfriends were cheating on them. They totally were (but not w me!). At around 2 or whenever my friends were done socializing for the evening, they'd stop by my hotel to hang out in the lobby with me en route to their warm cozy beds. Later on in the night, my boss would call. I had a huge girl crush on her- her name was Ellen. And this may have been my only girl crush that was requited. She would call me from her home at like 2am ostensibly to see how I was doing (or I at least like to think so), but I think she loved me- and we talked for HOURS. On my last day she was on vacation so she left me a note. I remember being SO SAD that she wouldn't be there and when I saw the note in my cubby I was so happy. During this same time, I had a good friend named Luke who, like a normal straight person, was vying for the opposite sex: ME. He was like my slave all summer. He also called me every night and got jealous of Ellen. I've since tried to google-stalk both Luke and Ellen and I can find nothing on either of them.
ANYWAY, in August I moved to day shift.
Oh, and I could always tell if someone watched a dirty movie. Bc the dirty movies were like$13 and the non-dirty movies were like $9. And it was always business men.
Friday, June 18, 2010
I've missed you
I missed you more than you missed me. I assure you this.
For about 4 days, I thought my computer was a goner. Then it started working again. (Don't wanna blog from work & while J knew about this site like 2 years ago, since I've trashed-talked his sister 10000x - among other family members- I hesitate to remind him of its presence). So after having the busiest wk of my life- I'm back.
Member I had no work to do at work? That totally sucked. I must have worked 1,000 hours this week. To go to this wedding I have tomorrow, I told my co-workers I'm the maid of honor (otherwise, tough shizzle). And my co-worker (she also just started) was annoyed that I wouldn't be on call all weekend. Yo, homegirl, you signed up for this sh*tbag profession- just like I did. Don't blame your bad decision on me, and I won't blame mine on you. While having lots of work is better than having none, having to work every night from home sucks. So it's good at work, but once nighttime hits, it blows. Feast or famine. That's what this profession is ALL ABOUT.
I also had a mandatory work reception one night.
Warning: I am going to vent:
I MISSED MONKEY SO MUCH!!!! My heart ached for her at this horribly long cocktail hour. I looked at the other people with kids and wondered if they were dying to get home to their babies like I was. I wonder if it will ever get better. And to make matters worse, after the cocktail reception, I had MORE WORK TO DO FROM HOME. I want to find a balance. I suspect I picked the wrong profession for this. The night where I come home and don't have work and get to spend QT w Monkey makes me feel like I can get a hang on this working mom thing. The other nights make me wonder how long I can possible last. The only other attorney with kids is a huge lover of money and prestige, and has no desire to be home with her kids. I love me some George-Washingtons... but not that much. So while I like my office & the people (the biotch I was describing above works at a different office.. and I actually like her. She just tries to give me all of her work and panics about everything. When you are a non-panicker, panickers get mad at you because they interpret your non-panicking as indifference. If I was indifferent, I wouldn't be working at all.). So anyway, I feel like a horrible mother who gave birth to a baby so that she could drop her off at a daycare in the morning and pick her up at night, only to feed her and send her off to bed. I never thought I would feel this way. I'm hoping it passes.
Ok, I'm done venting.
For about 4 days, I thought my computer was a goner. Then it started working again. (Don't wanna blog from work & while J knew about this site like 2 years ago, since I've trashed-talked his sister 10000x - among other family members- I hesitate to remind him of its presence). So after having the busiest wk of my life- I'm back.
Member I had no work to do at work? That totally sucked. I must have worked 1,000 hours this week. To go to this wedding I have tomorrow, I told my co-workers I'm the maid of honor (otherwise, tough shizzle). And my co-worker (she also just started) was annoyed that I wouldn't be on call all weekend. Yo, homegirl, you signed up for this sh*tbag profession- just like I did. Don't blame your bad decision on me, and I won't blame mine on you. While having lots of work is better than having none, having to work every night from home sucks. So it's good at work, but once nighttime hits, it blows. Feast or famine. That's what this profession is ALL ABOUT.
I also had a mandatory work reception one night.
Warning: I am going to vent:
I MISSED MONKEY SO MUCH!!!! My heart ached for her at this horribly long cocktail hour. I looked at the other people with kids and wondered if they were dying to get home to their babies like I was. I wonder if it will ever get better. And to make matters worse, after the cocktail reception, I had MORE WORK TO DO FROM HOME. I want to find a balance. I suspect I picked the wrong profession for this. The night where I come home and don't have work and get to spend QT w Monkey makes me feel like I can get a hang on this working mom thing. The other nights make me wonder how long I can possible last. The only other attorney with kids is a huge lover of money and prestige, and has no desire to be home with her kids. I love me some George-Washingtons... but not that much. So while I like my office & the people (the biotch I was describing above works at a different office.. and I actually like her. She just tries to give me all of her work and panics about everything. When you are a non-panicker, panickers get mad at you because they interpret your non-panicking as indifference. If I was indifferent, I wouldn't be working at all.). So anyway, I feel like a horrible mother who gave birth to a baby so that she could drop her off at a daycare in the morning and pick her up at night, only to feed her and send her off to bed. I never thought I would feel this way. I'm hoping it passes.
Ok, I'm done venting.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
The First Few Moments
During labor, I "pushed" for about 1.5 hours. I forgot I told J I wanted a vid of Monkey's first moments on earth. He remembered, though. I was pretty emo when they said she was making her way out. This is unsurprising, considering I cry tears of joy every time she so much as passes gas.
I didn't know what to expect at any point that day- especially when they handed her to me. But below is pictured our first meeting, in all it's messy glory.
I didn't know what to expect at any point that day- especially when they handed her to me. But below is pictured our first meeting, in all it's messy glory.
A few thoughts:
1. I know a lot of people find babies that are just born (read: unwashed) to be disgusting. But I have officially turned into one of those people that find it totally moving and not gross. That said, I'm not sure if I should be posting this picture online. Or at least if I should be posting this picture in COLOR online. Oh well. Try not to vomit.
2. Do you see the way she is staring me down? This caught me off guard. She wasn't even crying. I mean, she made a few cries en route to my novice arms, but then she stopped.... and stared. Like, "YOU?? It was YOUR voice that I'd been listening to yabber on for 9 months?? Don't you EVER just simmer down???" I thought she'd be crying, sleeping, or sort of not focusing on anything. I was wrong. And despite my immediate love for my baby, the look on her face indicates that she wasn't too sure about me yet. I would have to prove myself. I felt like I had given birth to Stewie Griffin.
3. What I also remember about that moment was an immediate fear of something being wrong (obviously). I said to the nurse, "Should I have her sit up in case there's extra mucus in her lungs?" The nurse was like, "She's fine. Everything is fine!"
4. She was covered in white stuff. I know not what it was, but it coated her entire body. And then it got all over my hands. When they whisked her away to clean her up, they never gave me a towel or anything. So I wiped my hands on the sheets (with hesitation, but what was my alternative)?
Ok, I'm done. I just found the video, learned how to take a snapshot from the video and thought I'd do so during the baby's nap.
Speaking of, *somebody* is turning 5 months tomorrow.
Friday, June 11, 2010
TGIF
For lack of creativity, a few random things about my work:
1. The office is relatively quiet on my end, but I will hear the copy guy singing "Build me Up Buttercup" on the top of his lungs multiple times a day. He has two 7 year old twin sons with autism.
2. My secretary is down the hall, as opposed to right outside my door. And she's 55 or so. She's really nice and is a grandmother. She's been at the firm for over 10 years and also is the secretary for someone really important. The only thing I ask her to do is arrange for reimbursement for lunch (occasionally), mileage, parking, and my cell phone. Last week I had about 5,000 documents to print out and put in binders, but I knew she had important stuff to do for the other lawyer. At that moment in time, I wished my secretary were just some dumb bimbo with nothing better to do (like I was at my old job) so I wouldn't feel guilty asking for help.
3. I share a printer with an important partner and a paralegal. Both of them print like crazy, especially the paralegal. She never takes her d*mn papers off the printer, so if I print something I have to dig through all her crap to find it. She prints out like every email she receives. I wonder why we don't all have our own printers.
4. At exactly 515, I peace out. I used to feel guilty, but now I feel lucky.
5. I'm required to have a blackberry, so I'm basically on call all the time. Luckily I'm really unimportant at this stage in my career. I hope it lasts.
6. Sometimes I look at the bios of my co-workers online and marvel at their overachievement. I mean, I got good grades and all, but............that's about it. I've never been in to extra-curriculars. I usually go to the first meeting, get my name on some sort of official roster, only to never return. I just don't like organized fun. And I question how much truly gets accomplished in "committees." Once in undergrad I was on some sort of student governance committee. During finals I wheeled this huge cart of breakfast food up to one of the huge lecture halls for all the students who were taking finals that morning. Free food. Let me pause to appreciate my own generosity and involvement.
7. Speaking of organized fun, in kindergarten my mom held my 6th birthday party at the Ground Round and a clown headed the bullsh*t that ensued. I told J about this recently and he goes, 'Isn't the Ground Round a trashy place?' Thanks for insulting my mom, J. I don't know anything about that place- I haven't been there since I turned 6. Anyway, that clown ruined my birthday party. We have a home movie of this party and it was clear I wasn't having fun. At one point I remember the clown insulted me in some way-- he probably just bossed me around or something, but dude... not necessary. The next year I had like 15 of my closest friends sleepover at my house. It was awesome. No evil clown. Nobody tellin' me what's up. My mom ruled.
8. My 3rd grade party was at the bowling alley. I wore black leggings that had lace at the ankles and probably an oversized bedazzled sweatshirt. I had like 5 or 6 different colored hair ties in one of those pony tails that has like a rubber band every 2 inches or so. This was my last birthday party before I officially entered a less cute phase of life. I "filled out" and looked terrible ever since. I was never stylish.
9. When I think back to the kinds of trash my mom had in the house, it's no wonder I filled out! Ellios pizza, tasty cakes, hamburger helper, chicken nuggets, pizza bites, hot pockets, ice cream. Occasionally she'd have plums, but there was no vegetable to be had. I recently asked her if she was trying to give me a heart attack.
10. To this day my little brother's tastes haven't evolved. Even to take-out Chinese.
11. I've gotten really into the series King of Queens.
1. The office is relatively quiet on my end, but I will hear the copy guy singing "Build me Up Buttercup" on the top of his lungs multiple times a day. He has two 7 year old twin sons with autism.
2. My secretary is down the hall, as opposed to right outside my door. And she's 55 or so. She's really nice and is a grandmother. She's been at the firm for over 10 years and also is the secretary for someone really important. The only thing I ask her to do is arrange for reimbursement for lunch (occasionally), mileage, parking, and my cell phone. Last week I had about 5,000 documents to print out and put in binders, but I knew she had important stuff to do for the other lawyer. At that moment in time, I wished my secretary were just some dumb bimbo with nothing better to do (like I was at my old job) so I wouldn't feel guilty asking for help.
3. I share a printer with an important partner and a paralegal. Both of them print like crazy, especially the paralegal. She never takes her d*mn papers off the printer, so if I print something I have to dig through all her crap to find it. She prints out like every email she receives. I wonder why we don't all have our own printers.
4. At exactly 515, I peace out. I used to feel guilty, but now I feel lucky.
5. I'm required to have a blackberry, so I'm basically on call all the time. Luckily I'm really unimportant at this stage in my career. I hope it lasts.
6. Sometimes I look at the bios of my co-workers online and marvel at their overachievement. I mean, I got good grades and all, but............that's about it. I've never been in to extra-curriculars. I usually go to the first meeting, get my name on some sort of official roster, only to never return. I just don't like organized fun. And I question how much truly gets accomplished in "committees." Once in undergrad I was on some sort of student governance committee. During finals I wheeled this huge cart of breakfast food up to one of the huge lecture halls for all the students who were taking finals that morning. Free food. Let me pause to appreciate my own generosity and involvement.
7. Speaking of organized fun, in kindergarten my mom held my 6th birthday party at the Ground Round and a clown headed the bullsh*t that ensued. I told J about this recently and he goes, 'Isn't the Ground Round a trashy place?' Thanks for insulting my mom, J. I don't know anything about that place- I haven't been there since I turned 6. Anyway, that clown ruined my birthday party. We have a home movie of this party and it was clear I wasn't having fun. At one point I remember the clown insulted me in some way-- he probably just bossed me around or something, but dude... not necessary. The next year I had like 15 of my closest friends sleepover at my house. It was awesome. No evil clown. Nobody tellin' me what's up. My mom ruled.
8. My 3rd grade party was at the bowling alley. I wore black leggings that had lace at the ankles and probably an oversized bedazzled sweatshirt. I had like 5 or 6 different colored hair ties in one of those pony tails that has like a rubber band every 2 inches or so. This was my last birthday party before I officially entered a less cute phase of life. I "filled out" and looked terrible ever since. I was never stylish.
9. When I think back to the kinds of trash my mom had in the house, it's no wonder I filled out! Ellios pizza, tasty cakes, hamburger helper, chicken nuggets, pizza bites, hot pockets, ice cream. Occasionally she'd have plums, but there was no vegetable to be had. I recently asked her if she was trying to give me a heart attack.
10. To this day my little brother's tastes haven't evolved. Even to take-out Chinese.
11. I've gotten really into the series King of Queens.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Unfinished Biz
1. Since Monday, we've had laundry in the dryer. It just needs to run for 30 minutes to get the wrinkles out & brought upstairs. It didn't happen Monday night. Didn't happen Tues night. Nor Wed. Guess what: Not happening tonight either.
2. Unopened mail. Piled on the counter.
3. I painted a picture frame on Monday night (I suppose during a time where I could've been getting laundry). Everything pertaining to this art project is taking up our entire kitchen table.
4. There is no toilet paper in one of the bathrooms upstairs.
5. We have nothing to eat for dinner. Edit: We have nothing that I want to eat for dinner.
6. I need to go downstairs and call J to ask him to pick up Monkey pears or pear juice or something that makes babies not constipated. Bc Monkey hasn't pooped in like 5 days and I'm pretty d*mn sure that's not a good thing. But the phone seems really far away.
Gotta do it.
2. Unopened mail. Piled on the counter.
3. I painted a picture frame on Monday night (I suppose during a time where I could've been getting laundry). Everything pertaining to this art project is taking up our entire kitchen table.
4. There is no toilet paper in one of the bathrooms upstairs.
5. We have nothing to eat for dinner. Edit: We have nothing that I want to eat for dinner.
6. I need to go downstairs and call J to ask him to pick up Monkey pears or pear juice or something that makes babies not constipated. Bc Monkey hasn't pooped in like 5 days and I'm pretty d*mn sure that's not a good thing. But the phone seems really far away.
Gotta do it.
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