TGIF

For lack of creativity, a few random things about my work:

1. The office is relatively quiet on my end, but I will hear the copy guy singing "Build me Up Buttercup" on the top of his lungs multiple times a day. He has two 7 year old twin sons with autism.

2. My secretary is down the hall, as opposed to right outside my door. And she's 55 or so. She's really nice and is a grandmother. She's been at the firm for over 10 years and also is the secretary for someone really important. The only thing I ask her to do is arrange for reimbursement for lunch (occasionally), mileage, parking, and my cell phone. Last week I had about 5,000 documents to print out and put in binders, but I knew she had important stuff to do for the other lawyer. At that moment in time, I wished my secretary were just some dumb bimbo with nothing better to do (like I was at my old job) so I wouldn't feel guilty asking for help.

3. I share a printer with an important partner and a paralegal. Both of them print like crazy, especially the paralegal. She never takes her d*mn papers off the printer, so if I print something I have to dig through all her crap to find it. She prints out like every email she receives. I wonder why we don't all have our own printers.

4. At exactly 515, I peace out. I used to feel guilty, but now I feel lucky.

5. I'm required to have a blackberry, so I'm basically on call all the time. Luckily I'm really unimportant at this stage in my career. I hope it lasts.

6. Sometimes I look at the bios of my co-workers online and marvel at their overachievement. I mean, I got good grades and all, but............that's about it. I've never been in to extra-curriculars. I usually go to the first meeting, get my name on some sort of official roster, only to never return. I just don't like organized fun. And I question how much truly gets accomplished in "committees." Once in undergrad I was on some sort of student governance committee. During finals I wheeled this huge cart of breakfast food up to one of the huge lecture halls for all the students who were taking finals that morning. Free food. Let me pause to appreciate my own generosity and involvement.

7. Speaking of organized fun, in kindergarten my mom held my 6th birthday party at the Ground Round and a clown headed the bullsh*t that ensued. I told J about this recently and he goes, 'Isn't the Ground Round a trashy place?' Thanks for insulting my mom, J. I don't know anything about that place- I haven't been there since I turned 6. Anyway, that clown ruined my birthday party. We have a home movie of this party and it was clear I wasn't having fun. At one point I remember the clown insulted me in some way-- he probably just bossed me around or something, but dude... not necessary. The next year I had like 15 of my closest friends sleepover at my house. It was awesome. No evil clown. Nobody tellin' me what's up. My mom ruled.

8. My 3rd grade party was at the bowling alley. I wore black leggings that had lace at the ankles and probably an oversized bedazzled sweatshirt. I had like 5 or 6 different colored hair ties in one of those pony tails that has like a rubber band every 2 inches or so. This was my last birthday party before I officially entered a less cute phase of life. I "filled out" and looked terrible ever since. I was never stylish.

9. When I think back to the kinds of trash my mom had in the house, it's no wonder I filled out! Ellios pizza, tasty cakes, hamburger helper, chicken nuggets, pizza bites, hot pockets, ice cream. Occasionally she'd have plums, but there was no vegetable to be had. I recently asked her if she was trying to give me a heart attack.

10. To this day my little brother's tastes haven't evolved. Even to take-out Chinese.

11. I've gotten really into the series King of Queens.