My mom is babysitting the Monkster today. Last night I asked her about Jody. My mom said she has no clue what she's up to and has no clue what her mom is up to either. I asked what she thought of her. My mom said, 'M, she was only in 7th or 8th grade. I didn't think anything.' And that was that. My mom couldn't have been less interested in my line of questioning. This very individual I find worthy of multiple blog entries. I asked about false teeth lady. My mom said she only came 2 or 3 times and that that is what that lady did for a living- babysit at night, I suppose. She said she received her as a recommendation from a friend. Some recommendation! I told my mom she was mean and scary. My mom said, 'You should've been in bed anyway and not running around!' Hmm....
I also wanted to share a tidbit w you from the beach w the in-laws. As we know, Evil SIL is single, 34 and hasn’t had a date in 10 yrs or so. BUT Evil SIL also wants a child. She is always telling me how she wants one, but her parents won’t approve of her having a baby alone (I know. I know. Back to that old parental approval bullsh*t). J & I let MIL and Evil SIL babysit while we got take-out. Upon our return, Evil SIL said, ‘Mom said she approves of me having a baby myself!’ MIL goes, ‘I DID NOT!’
Pause. Dude. If Monkey was 34, no prospects and not even technically “in between boyfriends” and wanted a baby, I would say, ‘It is your life. If you want a baby, have one. Although you may meet someone in the next few years, so consider that possibility.’ I would never rob someone of that experience without good cause- like, for example, you are addicted to crack. I also might advise her that having a baby by oneself while living far away from any support system (like parents) to help might be difficult, so maybe consider a relocation? I mean, sure, it would be difficult, but people do it All. The. Time. And they always have. I dunno, I just don’t think MIL’s old-fashioned ideas of propriety should dictate the very course of Evil SIL’s life any more than it already has.
That said, Evil SIL is a huge biotch and I would argue that she is unfit to care for anything other than her own satanic tendencies. J I kid, I kid. I will never tire of saying, however, that she needs to STOP CARING ABOUT WHAT MIL THINKS. J even agrees with me on this point.
I also love how, in general, people’s ideas of propriety are totally bullsh*t anyway. Let me explain: So MIL came from this very wealthy family. Her grandmother was the picture of wealth and propriety- servants, fancy dresses, fancy holidays, perfect manners, etc… and everyone in the extended family followed suit. MEANWHILE, MIL’s grandfather had a mistress in LONDON. The family knew about this but said nothing, as this man was their bread and butter. Family records found on ancestry.com reveal his regular trips to London to visit said mistress. Is this proper, might I ask? It seems like these proprieties were only skin deep. On one hand, I find this story tragic and typical. The family is completely dependent upon this man and he knows it, yet refuses to control his urges and refrain from hurting his wife so deeply (I think it’s safe to assume she was hurt, right?). So maybe HE was the only one who was improper. But MIL is really judgmental of everyone and looks down her nose on just about everyone who lives a lifestyle that differs from her own- which leads me to believe that she was raised this way (this may be an unfair assumption, in which case I retract my entire point). If you are in this position of living a lie, how can you look down your nose upon anyone else? One would think this would place you in a position of understanding that sometimes life throws you lemons and you just simply have to deal the hand that you are dealt as best you can.
I know- I am a huge hypocrite. I was re-reading old entries and saw one where I commemorated Holy Week by listing my faults. There, in writing, was a confession that I am too hard on my in-laws. I need to just Be. Nice.
I have learned that it is easier for me to be nice when I flip through a magazine during in-law family discussions. I tested this theory at the beach after the baby conversation I detailed above. It worked so well, I couldn’t believe it. But when I looked up, I could tell that Evil SIL was insulted that I wasn’t paying attention to what she was saying. It appears as though I’m stuck in between a rock and a hard place.
Anyway, Evil SIL is here for another week. We declined dining with them this passed weekend. I think we will continue to decline until Evil SIL returns from whence she came. Then I need not deal with her until Thanksgiving. A full 3 months away.
What if in 3 months I’ve been laid off? What if something crazy happens in these 3 months? My mom and I are supposed to travel to NYC this coming Monday and I have terrible anxiety about it. I told her about it and she told me that I’m ridiculous. But I’m terrified nonetheless. I wonder if I’ll end up facing my fears or cancelling on my mom. I think I might cancel.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Stomach Illness
There's something about my job - specifically doing real work at my job- that sucks all of my blog-writing inspiration right out of me.
I just finished this project that I've been working on since 845am, emailed it to the higher-ups, and received a very sweet "Thank you for your hard work! We will review it and get back to you." Just the idea of them "getting back to me," makes me shudder. Do you think I've found my calling?? :)
ANYWAY, Monkey is home sick today, so I am too. She threw up in the middle of the night and then again after her morning bottle. Upon Googling "infant vomits at night" or something like this, I learned that morning vomiting is a sign of a brain tumor. LUCKILY, I'm feeling less crazy today than usual, so I recognized that it probably isn't worth panicking about. And, to be honest, I've thought she was terminally ill like a million times. I'm quickly becoming bored with my anxiety. Although I confess that I did mention this Google gem to the nurse this morning on the phone, to which he said, 'Oh, geez! Do not worry about that. It is much more likely that this is the stomach virus that's been going around.'
I'm also really freaking annoyed that SATC 2 isn't out on DVD or OnDemand yet. I still haven't seen it. J wins husband points by regularly checking OnDemand. He went to see the first one with me shortly after we were married. I think his eyes watered during the Miranda-Steve Brooklyn Bridge scene. I mean... who didn't cry at that scene? I still can't believe he cheated on her.
In other news, I finished The Poisonwood Bible. I know I'm like the last person in the world to have read it and I read Oprah's bio by Kitty Kelley and the biographies of 2 ex-gfs of Hugh Hefner (one being Ms. Kendra Wilkinson) in between starting it and finishing it, but it was good. I'm sad it's over. Don't you hate that?
Alright, Monk's up. Gotta go
I just finished this project that I've been working on since 845am, emailed it to the higher-ups, and received a very sweet "Thank you for your hard work! We will review it and get back to you." Just the idea of them "getting back to me," makes me shudder. Do you think I've found my calling?? :)
ANYWAY, Monkey is home sick today, so I am too. She threw up in the middle of the night and then again after her morning bottle. Upon Googling "infant vomits at night" or something like this, I learned that morning vomiting is a sign of a brain tumor. LUCKILY, I'm feeling less crazy today than usual, so I recognized that it probably isn't worth panicking about. And, to be honest, I've thought she was terminally ill like a million times. I'm quickly becoming bored with my anxiety. Although I confess that I did mention this Google gem to the nurse this morning on the phone, to which he said, 'Oh, geez! Do not worry about that. It is much more likely that this is the stomach virus that's been going around.'
I'm also really freaking annoyed that SATC 2 isn't out on DVD or OnDemand yet. I still haven't seen it. J wins husband points by regularly checking OnDemand. He went to see the first one with me shortly after we were married. I think his eyes watered during the Miranda-Steve Brooklyn Bridge scene. I mean... who didn't cry at that scene? I still can't believe he cheated on her.
In other news, I finished The Poisonwood Bible. I know I'm like the last person in the world to have read it and I read Oprah's bio by Kitty Kelley and the biographies of 2 ex-gfs of Hugh Hefner (one being Ms. Kendra Wilkinson) in between starting it and finishing it, but it was good. I'm sad it's over. Don't you hate that?
Alright, Monk's up. Gotta go
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Babysitters
Writing about Jody (combined with my mixed bag of feelings about sending the Monkster to daycare) has got me to reminiscing on babysitters of yore.
Jody- My favorite babysitter, as I’ve mentioned before. Probably one of the first people on earth aside from my peers to treat me as something other than just a child. I hope I remember this about Monkey- that she is a person and hears things that we say, instead of just assuming that she doesn’t understand because she’s “just a baby” or that she doesn’t care, etc… Jody was a firm believer in the supernatural and brought her Ouija board over to play. She told me ghost stories and freaked me the f*ck out. I remember one involved the sounds of an Indian coming up the stairs. I remember the vision I used to have of an Indian chief creeping up my basement stairs in the dark. If my mom knew what really went on while Jody was watching us, I’m fairly certain Jody would’ve been fired.
Nighttime Lady- My mom worked night shift at the hospital. This lady came at night. I was probably 5 or 6. She was old and mean. I rarely saw her and only remember her once. As we all know, I have 2 brothers: 1 older, 1 younger. They shared a room. I was afraid to sleep in my own room and used to sneak into their room to sleep on the floor until I was probably 8 or 9 years old. This babysitter for some reason took issue with my sleeping in their room and yelled at me to return to my own room. I complied temporarily and then re-manned my position on the floor in between my brothers’ two twin beds. My older brother returned from the bathroom and said, ‘M, go in the bathroom and look in that plastic container.’ I asked why. He convinced me to just go do it. I crept to the bathroom, passed where the babysitter was sleeping in my mom’s bed (who WAS this lady anyway? And where did she find her? I have to ask my mom). In the bathroom I opened the plastic container and used my toothbrush to poke into the cloudy water. TEETH bobbed into my view. I had never seen false teeth before- didn’t even know they existed. So you can imagine my surprise when this is what I saw. I screamed on the top of my lungs and my brother ran back to his room with a huge nervous smile on his face. She emerged angrily from my mom’s room (right next to the bathroom door where I was standing) and yelled at me to get back to bed. I ran like h*ll back to my brother’s room. My memory ends there.
Younger nighttime lady- This lady was from WAY back- I think I was like 4. I recall this woman looking like Emily Valentine from 90210. Member her? She was a regular but bc she came at night, I have no real recollection of her. I just know that one time, I got scared, walked down to our basement to find her and she was sitting on the couch with her boyfriend who had obviously snuck in through our sliding glass door. I told her I was scared and she tucked me back into bed. I didn’t care that her boyfriend was there and didn’t even really know that he wasn’t supposed to be there, but I knew that I had caught her off-guard.
I also recall a lady from when I was like 3 or 4. She always reminded me of Natalie from the Facts of Life. In my memory, she IS Natalie from the Facts of Life. She had a particularly close bond with my older brother. I wonder if he remembers her. I wonder if she contributed to his life positively in any way, or if her presence made a difference? Must one remember someone throughout their entire life for that person to have made a difference? Who knows.
Back to my first platonic girl crush, Jody. I think she made a difference. In my life and a lot of other little lives- for when she explained to me what s*x was, I went to my 2nd grade class and told everyone. My oldest female cousin re-told me shortly thereafter, so perhaps I would’ve done the same thing and told my entire class after my cousin let me in on the secret- just a few months later. So maybe Jody made no difference at all.
Jody- My favorite babysitter, as I’ve mentioned before. Probably one of the first people on earth aside from my peers to treat me as something other than just a child. I hope I remember this about Monkey- that she is a person and hears things that we say, instead of just assuming that she doesn’t understand because she’s “just a baby” or that she doesn’t care, etc… Jody was a firm believer in the supernatural and brought her Ouija board over to play. She told me ghost stories and freaked me the f*ck out. I remember one involved the sounds of an Indian coming up the stairs. I remember the vision I used to have of an Indian chief creeping up my basement stairs in the dark. If my mom knew what really went on while Jody was watching us, I’m fairly certain Jody would’ve been fired.
Nighttime Lady- My mom worked night shift at the hospital. This lady came at night. I was probably 5 or 6. She was old and mean. I rarely saw her and only remember her once. As we all know, I have 2 brothers: 1 older, 1 younger. They shared a room. I was afraid to sleep in my own room and used to sneak into their room to sleep on the floor until I was probably 8 or 9 years old. This babysitter for some reason took issue with my sleeping in their room and yelled at me to return to my own room. I complied temporarily and then re-manned my position on the floor in between my brothers’ two twin beds. My older brother returned from the bathroom and said, ‘M, go in the bathroom and look in that plastic container.’ I asked why. He convinced me to just go do it. I crept to the bathroom, passed where the babysitter was sleeping in my mom’s bed (who WAS this lady anyway? And where did she find her? I have to ask my mom). In the bathroom I opened the plastic container and used my toothbrush to poke into the cloudy water. TEETH bobbed into my view. I had never seen false teeth before- didn’t even know they existed. So you can imagine my surprise when this is what I saw. I screamed on the top of my lungs and my brother ran back to his room with a huge nervous smile on his face. She emerged angrily from my mom’s room (right next to the bathroom door where I was standing) and yelled at me to get back to bed. I ran like h*ll back to my brother’s room. My memory ends there.
Younger nighttime lady- This lady was from WAY back- I think I was like 4. I recall this woman looking like Emily Valentine from 90210. Member her? She was a regular but bc she came at night, I have no real recollection of her. I just know that one time, I got scared, walked down to our basement to find her and she was sitting on the couch with her boyfriend who had obviously snuck in through our sliding glass door. I told her I was scared and she tucked me back into bed. I didn’t care that her boyfriend was there and didn’t even really know that he wasn’t supposed to be there, but I knew that I had caught her off-guard.
I also recall a lady from when I was like 3 or 4. She always reminded me of Natalie from the Facts of Life. In my memory, she IS Natalie from the Facts of Life. She had a particularly close bond with my older brother. I wonder if he remembers her. I wonder if she contributed to his life positively in any way, or if her presence made a difference? Must one remember someone throughout their entire life for that person to have made a difference? Who knows.
Back to my first platonic girl crush, Jody. I think she made a difference. In my life and a lot of other little lives- for when she explained to me what s*x was, I went to my 2nd grade class and told everyone. My oldest female cousin re-told me shortly thereafter, so perhaps I would’ve done the same thing and told my entire class after my cousin let me in on the secret- just a few months later. So maybe Jody made no difference at all.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
The Beach
No Google results. I wonder if I’m spelling her name correctly. I’ve been meaning to ask my mom if she knows anything of what happened to her. My mom probably knows her mom or at least still talks to someone who still talks to her mom.
Last week I remembered this best friend I had in kindergarten. I remembered her all these years. She moved to Michigan. After awhile, I realized I remembered her last name incorrectly (or as a 5 year old, I understood her last name to be something it wasn’t). I told J this in amazement. He responded, “Wow. Big surprise. You forgot something that was 23 years ago.” What a guy.
This weekend we went to the beach with the in-laws. Say no more- I recognize this was my first mistake. But to my defense, Good SIL was going to be there and, originally, Evil SIL was NOT. Last minute, Evil SIL decided to grace us with her presence. And grace us, did she ever. MIL, while generally less offensive, kept attempting to manipulate the course of my life in a way not even attempted by my own mother. My own mother at least has some semblance of her own life- even if the vast majority of it does involve People mag and Judge Judy!! In less than 24 hours, MIL told me about 4 times that having children 4 years apart is good (then why did she have her children 2 and 3 years apart, respectively?). She told me not to quit work because she worries about J having to “bear the large financial burden of [my] family.” As a preliminary matter, I intend to continue working. How is this her business again? The next morning I was ill-rested, had a sore throat, and tired of my in-laws (specifically 2 of them). I told her that what she tells me what to do- I plan on doing the exact opposite. She said, ‘So I should use reverse psychology on you?’ I responded, ‘Or how about no psychology?’ I don’t know how it was later received. I also don’t care. I cannot imagine growing up with her as my mother. Without respite. She also said to me during my 24 hour journey through insane-town, “I was starting to get a belly. I realized it was sugar. I like the sugar in wine so I cut out all the sugar in my diet except wine.” I later heard her telling this to Good SIL’s MIL (does this make sense). For some reason, I just want her to stop saying this out loud.
Good SIL’s mother in law came to help with the grandkids (gasp, I know- a grandmother who actually enjoys spending time w her grandkids).
Otherwise, my sweet Monkey was an angel. I’m at work now (this is probably a huge mistake and possibly the demise of my career but I missed blogging) and I MISS HER, as usual.
This is my 6th month of working.
Have I done enough bashing of MIL in this episode?
To her credit, I suspect that her intentions aren’t evil. I cannot say this about Evil SIL. I think MIL is just not that smart. Or, rather, she could be smart, but she chooses not to use her brain, if that makes sense. And she definitely drinks too much. I love me some alcohol, but I don’t get so drunk that I slur my speech every night. So, I can say that I care about her and I definitely pity her. But I’m not sure why. She’s weak and cries easily. But that might just be the hangover.
Last week I remembered this best friend I had in kindergarten. I remembered her all these years. She moved to Michigan. After awhile, I realized I remembered her last name incorrectly (or as a 5 year old, I understood her last name to be something it wasn’t). I told J this in amazement. He responded, “Wow. Big surprise. You forgot something that was 23 years ago.” What a guy.
This weekend we went to the beach with the in-laws. Say no more- I recognize this was my first mistake. But to my defense, Good SIL was going to be there and, originally, Evil SIL was NOT. Last minute, Evil SIL decided to grace us with her presence. And grace us, did she ever. MIL, while generally less offensive, kept attempting to manipulate the course of my life in a way not even attempted by my own mother. My own mother at least has some semblance of her own life- even if the vast majority of it does involve People mag and Judge Judy!! In less than 24 hours, MIL told me about 4 times that having children 4 years apart is good (then why did she have her children 2 and 3 years apart, respectively?). She told me not to quit work because she worries about J having to “bear the large financial burden of [my] family.” As a preliminary matter, I intend to continue working. How is this her business again? The next morning I was ill-rested, had a sore throat, and tired of my in-laws (specifically 2 of them). I told her that what she tells me what to do- I plan on doing the exact opposite. She said, ‘So I should use reverse psychology on you?’ I responded, ‘Or how about no psychology?’ I don’t know how it was later received. I also don’t care. I cannot imagine growing up with her as my mother. Without respite. She also said to me during my 24 hour journey through insane-town, “I was starting to get a belly. I realized it was sugar. I like the sugar in wine so I cut out all the sugar in my diet except wine.” I later heard her telling this to Good SIL’s MIL (does this make sense). For some reason, I just want her to stop saying this out loud.
Good SIL’s mother in law came to help with the grandkids (gasp, I know- a grandmother who actually enjoys spending time w her grandkids).
Otherwise, my sweet Monkey was an angel. I’m at work now (this is probably a huge mistake and possibly the demise of my career but I missed blogging) and I MISS HER, as usual.
This is my 6th month of working.
Have I done enough bashing of MIL in this episode?
To her credit, I suspect that her intentions aren’t evil. I cannot say this about Evil SIL. I think MIL is just not that smart. Or, rather, she could be smart, but she chooses not to use her brain, if that makes sense. And she definitely drinks too much. I love me some alcohol, but I don’t get so drunk that I slur my speech every night. So, I can say that I care about her and I definitely pity her. But I’m not sure why. She’s weak and cries easily. But that might just be the hangover.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Ramblings
I always see these statistics that are like "1 in 4 adults have been molested, etc.."
I was never molested by an adult.
But I was coerced into weird "show and tell" games with kids my own age.
Did I ever blog about that German family that lived down the street? Well there were 2 kids, Yocum (sp?) and Stephanie. Stephanie was older and Yocum was probably about only 2 years older than me. I vaguely recall following him and my brother around, and I have a memory of walking home with my childhood best friend from the bus stop and telling her that he was my boyfriend. Yocum never formally asked my 5 year old a$$ out- but we did see each other naked (well, only the interesting parts). I was 5, he was 7. I suppose I've always had a thing for slightly older men.
Our laundry room was in the basement and my mom was I believe folding clothes out of the dryer. Yocum and I were behind the door- No clue why. He pulled down his pants and then asked if I would pull mine down. I asked him why his "thing was sticking up (!!! Can you believe this!!! I'm sort of embarassed to even write this on my blog. But I was totally baffled, as I'd only seen my brothers naked in the bath and we've always kept it clean, thankfully). I told him no, as my mom was right there. He told me she'd never know. Apparently, that was all it took because my pants were down to my knees about 5 seconds later. Then it was over. Life resumed.
It happened again one other time and I asked him why it wasn't sticking up this time. He said he didn't know. I was disappointed. Haha. Ahh, what a gal. Drivin' hard bargains from day 1. I was never a victim to his perversions again after that point and I couldn't have cared less.
I told J this story and he relayed to me a story about how when he was like 8 he was hanging out with his older sister's friend one time and he asked her if she wanted to see him naked. She responded, 'I don't care.' He felt shot down.
I think the only ones with p*enis envy are those with p*enises!
At around that time, I also loved my babysitter, Jody, who lived up the street. She was 14. I thought 14 would be such a cool age. For me, it was filled with zits and my creepy awkward body and being a huge dork. But for her it was smoking cigarettes and being cool around the neighborhood. She's the one who told me what s*x was and said her two friends had s*x at the park the other night. (Hmm... I think I definitely wrote about her before. I love her, she's totally worth 2 entries). She used to get scared after we'd go to bed and asked me to wake up and hang out with her. I remember sitting downstairs in my nightgown trying to keep my eyes open while we played Mario Bros. She asked me if I wanted a pudding pop and I declined. Then we both fell asleep on the floor in the living room. I remember my mom coming home all dressed up and being really happy to see us. I also remember one time my little brother went to bed and woke up screaming. I feel like Jody was mad at him or something and I tried to convince her that he saw a face coming at him in the dark and that we should all be very concerned.
Anyway, when I was 13 or so, I saw her in the bathroom at the mall. She was wearing so much make-up and her bangs were super super high. I think she was smoking too. She was looking in the mirror and we made eye contact through the mirror but didn't say anything. I think she recognized me. My friend and I walked out and I felt sad that she turned out the way she did- and I didn't even know how she turned out. I'm going to go Google her now.
I was never molested by an adult.
But I was coerced into weird "show and tell" games with kids my own age.
Did I ever blog about that German family that lived down the street? Well there were 2 kids, Yocum (sp?) and Stephanie. Stephanie was older and Yocum was probably about only 2 years older than me. I vaguely recall following him and my brother around, and I have a memory of walking home with my childhood best friend from the bus stop and telling her that he was my boyfriend. Yocum never formally asked my 5 year old a$$ out- but we did see each other naked (well, only the interesting parts). I was 5, he was 7. I suppose I've always had a thing for slightly older men.
Our laundry room was in the basement and my mom was I believe folding clothes out of the dryer. Yocum and I were behind the door- No clue why. He pulled down his pants and then asked if I would pull mine down. I asked him why his "thing was sticking up (!!! Can you believe this!!! I'm sort of embarassed to even write this on my blog. But I was totally baffled, as I'd only seen my brothers naked in the bath and we've always kept it clean, thankfully). I told him no, as my mom was right there. He told me she'd never know. Apparently, that was all it took because my pants were down to my knees about 5 seconds later. Then it was over. Life resumed.
It happened again one other time and I asked him why it wasn't sticking up this time. He said he didn't know. I was disappointed. Haha. Ahh, what a gal. Drivin' hard bargains from day 1. I was never a victim to his perversions again after that point and I couldn't have cared less.
I told J this story and he relayed to me a story about how when he was like 8 he was hanging out with his older sister's friend one time and he asked her if she wanted to see him naked. She responded, 'I don't care.' He felt shot down.
I think the only ones with p*enis envy are those with p*enises!
At around that time, I also loved my babysitter, Jody, who lived up the street. She was 14. I thought 14 would be such a cool age. For me, it was filled with zits and my creepy awkward body and being a huge dork. But for her it was smoking cigarettes and being cool around the neighborhood. She's the one who told me what s*x was and said her two friends had s*x at the park the other night. (Hmm... I think I definitely wrote about her before. I love her, she's totally worth 2 entries). She used to get scared after we'd go to bed and asked me to wake up and hang out with her. I remember sitting downstairs in my nightgown trying to keep my eyes open while we played Mario Bros. She asked me if I wanted a pudding pop and I declined. Then we both fell asleep on the floor in the living room. I remember my mom coming home all dressed up and being really happy to see us. I also remember one time my little brother went to bed and woke up screaming. I feel like Jody was mad at him or something and I tried to convince her that he saw a face coming at him in the dark and that we should all be very concerned.
Anyway, when I was 13 or so, I saw her in the bathroom at the mall. She was wearing so much make-up and her bangs were super super high. I think she was smoking too. She was looking in the mirror and we made eye contact through the mirror but didn't say anything. I think she recognized me. My friend and I walked out and I felt sad that she turned out the way she did- and I didn't even know how she turned out. I'm going to go Google her now.
Friday, August 20, 2010
Pukester
The daycare called me at work today to inform me that Monkey was less cheerful and had a cough. Considering my throat has felt like it was on fire for the passed few days, this surprised me not.
I picked up Monk & off we went. In the waiting room, I let Monkey play with my cell phone. I then saw a funny glimmer in her eye. I then saw projectile vomit shoot out of her mouth and land all over my work pants. I realized that I would not be returning to work. Monkey looked at me and smiled.
I felt like this should put us into the fast lane at the doctor, but it did not. We waited for another 25 minutes. Jackie again threw up all over my pants and on the floor. I had nothing to clean it up with. I had no change of clothes (for either her or me). No diaper. No burp clothes. Nothing. Monkey is usually so chill, all she needs is me and a pacifier. By the time we saw the doctor, both of us were covered in vomit and smelling like stomach acid. So hot. People in the waiting room were looking at me like I should be doing something more. I kind of felt like I should be doing more too. But what was I going to do? Pull out some yarn and knitting needles and start creating a cloth with which to wipe up all this gooey vomit? I just sat there sort of holding Monkey awkwardly with a confused look on my face.
Have I learned my lesson that one must be a bit more prepared as a mother? Probably not. Will I start to travel with more baby gear? Probably not.
I picked up Monk & off we went. In the waiting room, I let Monkey play with my cell phone. I then saw a funny glimmer in her eye. I then saw projectile vomit shoot out of her mouth and land all over my work pants. I realized that I would not be returning to work. Monkey looked at me and smiled.
I felt like this should put us into the fast lane at the doctor, but it did not. We waited for another 25 minutes. Jackie again threw up all over my pants and on the floor. I had nothing to clean it up with. I had no change of clothes (for either her or me). No diaper. No burp clothes. Nothing. Monkey is usually so chill, all she needs is me and a pacifier. By the time we saw the doctor, both of us were covered in vomit and smelling like stomach acid. So hot. People in the waiting room were looking at me like I should be doing something more. I kind of felt like I should be doing more too. But what was I going to do? Pull out some yarn and knitting needles and start creating a cloth with which to wipe up all this gooey vomit? I just sat there sort of holding Monkey awkwardly with a confused look on my face.
Have I learned my lesson that one must be a bit more prepared as a mother? Probably not. Will I start to travel with more baby gear? Probably not.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Rudeness
I found out yesterday that the mother of a secretary ("R") here at work died in a car accident here in town when she was 4. She's now in her mid-thirties (I think). I can't stop thinking about it. HOW SAD! And her dad raised her and her older sister and finally remarried a few yrs ago. R is SOOOOO nice. I cannot emphasize this enough.
I am obviously obsessed with this story as I have a daughter and I want nothing more than to know her for a very very very very long time (duh). But I am obsessed nonetheless.
Does the mother know what happened? (I recognize this falls into the realm of the afterlife, etc.. and for that I do not apologize) If so, is she sad? Does she miss R? Has she been able to see R? How devastated would she be if she knew early on in her life that she would never see R & R's older sister grow up? It's SO SAD to think of all she's missed (if she did, in fact, miss it). R said she's still close to her mother's family.... but it is not the same.
Just yesterday my mom was over watching Monkey on her day off. I came home for lunch & they were having a blast. Then I returned from work and we went shopping and out for dinner. I feel so blessed for this opportunity and I'm so sad that R & her mom do not have that.
I obviously cannot handle stories like these. They are too upsetting. I wonder if I will always be so sensitive to such things or if it is temporary due to having a baby (either environmental or hormonal or something) & eventually I will be able to hear of such things and think, "Life can be unfair" and then move on with my day. As of now, I hear of a story like this and start tearing up. And then I think of it every 10 minutes for the next few days before I am finally able to slowly forget about it.
A client was rude to R this morning. I heard this while sitting in my office. I wanted to run out of my office and say, 'Do you KNOW that her mother died when she was 4? How dare you treat her that way, a$$hole!' I suppose I have a soft spot for orphans! Me, Walt Disney, and everyone who saw Bambi. Oh, and whoever wrote all those Shirley Temple movies (Have you seen those? They are the saddes thing ever. My gma bought me the box set when I was young and I would just sit there crying while watching them.) Heck, the rude client probably has a soft spot for orphans too. He just didn't know that she (kind of) fell into that category.
I suppose for all I know, the client was rude bc he received bad news this morning. Like his brother is terminally ill and his job is in limbo and his wife is having an affair. Who knows?
I guess this is all just another lesson in that fact that the way people treat you has very little to do with you, and everything to do with them.
I am obviously obsessed with this story as I have a daughter and I want nothing more than to know her for a very very very very long time (duh). But I am obsessed nonetheless.
Does the mother know what happened? (I recognize this falls into the realm of the afterlife, etc.. and for that I do not apologize) If so, is she sad? Does she miss R? Has she been able to see R? How devastated would she be if she knew early on in her life that she would never see R & R's older sister grow up? It's SO SAD to think of all she's missed (if she did, in fact, miss it). R said she's still close to her mother's family.... but it is not the same.
Just yesterday my mom was over watching Monkey on her day off. I came home for lunch & they were having a blast. Then I returned from work and we went shopping and out for dinner. I feel so blessed for this opportunity and I'm so sad that R & her mom do not have that.
I obviously cannot handle stories like these. They are too upsetting. I wonder if I will always be so sensitive to such things or if it is temporary due to having a baby (either environmental or hormonal or something) & eventually I will be able to hear of such things and think, "Life can be unfair" and then move on with my day. As of now, I hear of a story like this and start tearing up. And then I think of it every 10 minutes for the next few days before I am finally able to slowly forget about it.
A client was rude to R this morning. I heard this while sitting in my office. I wanted to run out of my office and say, 'Do you KNOW that her mother died when she was 4? How dare you treat her that way, a$$hole!' I suppose I have a soft spot for orphans! Me, Walt Disney, and everyone who saw Bambi. Oh, and whoever wrote all those Shirley Temple movies (Have you seen those? They are the saddes thing ever. My gma bought me the box set when I was young and I would just sit there crying while watching them.) Heck, the rude client probably has a soft spot for orphans too. He just didn't know that she (kind of) fell into that category.
I suppose for all I know, the client was rude bc he received bad news this morning. Like his brother is terminally ill and his job is in limbo and his wife is having an affair. Who knows?
I guess this is all just another lesson in that fact that the way people treat you has very little to do with you, and everything to do with them.
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