Illness

This morning I awoke with what felt like wretched morning sickness. But I am excellent and timely with regard to taking my birth control, I just had my period (J thinks this phrase is gross, and I'm not that into it either, but I don't like the Aunt Flo stuff & menstruation.... well that's just as bad) & I hadn't gotten laid since. So if I were pregnant, I would also be Mary and this pregnancy would be the immaculate conception. Or an alien had s*x with me while I slept and this baby is alien baby. But my boobs didn't hurt. So.... what could it be?

I knew I was sick bc I could barely get up in Monkey face like I do every day.

I came home from work at 10:00, tried to eat McDonald's breakfast thinking making I was just really hungry. That made me feel momentarily better- until the migraine hit. Sonofab*tch. I passed out for a bunch of hours & now I'm up and feel slightly better, although my head is still throbbing. J is like, 'If you're sick, stay home. You have nothing to do at work today anyway.' But I'm going back. Bc if J gets laid off & they fire me or something bc they perceive me to be a slacker, I don't want to look back and say, 'Gee... I wish I toughed it out at my desk. That way the dogs would have kibble & Monk would have formula.' Good jobs to welfare- like that. I recognize this might be my anxiety again. I hope so.

This was a nice reminder of what my first 3 months of pregnancy were like. Except I actually ended up throwing up, which was fun. Particularly with 2 dogs climbing all over you bc they're worried. What would I have done without my two 4-legged BFFs? My Hannie-bear!

So no pregnancy over here anytime soon, FYI. Although as I down McD's & cheesey potatoes for lunch, I grew slightly nostalgic for my pregancy diet. Ice cream, any and all processed foods, fast food... My maid of honor would say things (regarding preg women in general, not me specifically).. would you WANT to eat healthy? I mean, haven't your taste buds matured that you wouldn't want to eat trash like McD's? And intellectually, I agree w her. But when you've spent the better part of the morning vomiting and you're so hungry that you might fall over, you'll eat whatever the f*ck you want. And that ain't a salad, let me tell you. When she's pregnant and downing a double cheeseburger, I won't say "I told you so." I will simply ride shotgun as we go through the drive-thru and place my order.