Beth

Ya know those people in your life that you were never really tight with, but you enjoyed what small relations you had? I mean, like, the guy who works at 7-11 (I actually do NOT miss the guy at 7-11 at one of my old universities- his name was Gary and he started to take our friendly casual relationship to the next level by asking if I wanted to grab a beer. NOPE. You’re just the 7-11 guy to me and that is all. No offense).

Of course, I miss actually living close to and seeing my real friends.

But the fake ones, you never even end up keeping in touch with. They are gone.

One that I really liked was my old roommate Beth. We never had enough material to really take our friendship prime time, but I enjoyed the 5 brief months we spent as roommates. She definitely had friends, but she marched to the beat of a different drummer. She was not lazy. I was taking post-bacc courses after graduating and she was in her senior year of college. In MY senior year of college, I spent a great deal of time smoking the good stuff with my friends on a couch in a semi-comatose state watching Family Guy reruns and waiting for our food to be delivered. I also went out all the time and studied a lot. The only real “me” time I allotted myself was at the gym upstairs in the building and late night (during the week sometimes), I would sit in front of my laptop and smoke cigarettes while surfing the net. But my internet addiction was not nearly as refined as it has become. Beth didn’t do this stuff. Beth baked cakes. Once she baked a lemon cake with lemon icing. A few weeks later she made rice krispie treats. I barely went to the grocery store, let alone bake stuff. Occasionally I’d try out a new recipe for dinner, but…. I mostly just ordered out. I love how I was “so broke” in college, yet I had full cable & HBO, smoked $8/packs of cigarettes and partied whenever I deemed necessary. At the time, I genuinely felt broke because, well, simply not going out wasn’t an option. Nor was not paying for cable. Or not smoking to save money. I think you get to a point when you have no money and there’s simply no hope that you will ever have money that you just spend whatever you have. If I found a few bucks, I’d walk into the nearest bodega and pick me up a red bull. WHY NOT, eh?

Anyway, back to Beth. She was in ROTC, taught English as a second language in Spain after college for awhile, etc… She would go out sometimes for sure, but it wasn’t a given. She might spend a Fri or Sat night in watching a movie alone. In college I went out every single weekend night without fail. Every one of ‘em. It wasn’t until this period of my life- the “semester” after I graduated, that I realized that staying inside and not getting wasted out of your mind might actually feel relaxing. She also didn’t have a go-to friend like I always had. I always had a group of friends that were up to something (usually no good) or a go-to friend I could call if I wanted to go out (which I did). She was more of a loner. That’s how she ended up with random old me as a roommate during her senior year of college.

We hung out more and more as the semester drew on, and we kept in touch loosely after she moved away. We now haven’t spoken in like 4 years, which is fine because we really wouldn’t have much to say.

But I like her. And I wish she worked down the hall from me or something and we could see each other regularly and have small talk and stuff.

Sometimes this blog feels really self-indulgent. I feel like I should apologize for yammering on about myself so much on here.

I’m going to write my speech RIGHT NOW. I keep forgetting that I have to give it in 2 days.