All Hallow's Eve

Dude.

So today- of course- J has this hearing down state and leaves really early.  He takes the car that I have been driving since August.  This car has in it: Monkey's puffy vest, all of her barrettes (without which she looks like a ragamuffin), the snap-n-go stroller that enables me to shop with H*llary.  To boot- Monkey's daycare is pretty much going ape over this holiday.  I had to feed & change both girls, bathe and dress Monk, pack Monkey's Halloween costume (ahem, a bumblebee) and a sheet/blanket for naptime and drop her off.  No small feat whilst lugging along a baby carrier.  Last week I must have been smoking crack because I signed up to bring a "pumpkin treat" DESPITE the fact that nobody had signed up for napkins yet.  This weekend I didn't feel like baking and I started to feel stressed about the expectation ("What if nobody likes my cookies? My feelings will be hurt!") so I high-tailed it over to the grocery store and picked up "harvest fudge brownies." The person who signed up for brownies is gonna be pissed!

MIL Story:  This is from when H was in the hospital and MIL stayed with me for a few hours.  Very nice gesture.  A little awkward because she is old fashioned and cheesey and I'm sure the people we were sharing a room with were like, 'WTF' as they listened to her ramble on about how Evil SIL was s*exually assaulted a few times (and they were like really dumb incidents- like the one time, she accepted a ride home from a college party with some weird old foreign man and he locked the car doors and tried to make out but she fought him off of her.  Umm... Where the hell were your friends? Who would accept a ride home from a weird foreign man? Or any old man for that matter? Everybody knows that drunkenly accepting a ride home will result in a make-out session............right?).  She always ends up telling me and everyone else she enters into conversation with how her love for my FIL was "at first sight."  I need not even embark upon a story about whether I believe in love at first sight-  I remember falling in love at first sight with a number of dudes (and divas, frankly) and they were usually obscenely good-looking and they usually paid me no heed.  So I guess I've experienced unrequited love at first sight.  I digress.  The point is that this should not be a go-to topic of conversation.  If you are both talking about where you met your significant others?  Rock on.  But if you are not? Nobody asked about when you fell in love, homegirl. But this woman has told me MULTIPLE TIMES that her love for FIL was "at first sight."   She also told my mom this in the hospital waiting room while I was in labor with Monkey.  Anyway, she did include a new, interesting tidbit.  She said that before she met FIL, every single night she would sit in the bathtub and sing a song from the musical The Mu*sic Man (I have never seen this) called "Goo*dnight my Someone" or something.  She said, 'I knew the man of my dreams was out there and that I just hadn't met him yet.  So every night as I took my bath I would sing this song saying good-night to the man I would marry.'  I seriously wanted to kick her a$$ for being so embarrassing. Please keep in mind that at this point I am sharing a hospital room with a baby and her parents.  They are hearing ALL of this.  I never know how to respond to these lame a$$ stories, so I simply said, 'Aww, that's cute.'  We weren't even talking about musicals.  We weren't even talking about falling in love.  This story just basically spouted out of her mouth.  Did I mention that she stared singing this song vibrato like an opera-singer while describing it to me? 

Otherwise, she's gotten exponentially better about not insulting my children or telling me how to raise them.  I don't know why- maybe someone gave her a talking to.. or maybe my oftentimes rude responses to her statements sunk in.  I'm just enjoying my cake while it's on my plate.