MIL

I am going STIR CRAZY. I can't believe I didn't leave the house for over a month after Monk was born - and who am I kidding - the month preceding it as well. Well, except to travel for Xmas.

It's easier to hang out in your house for days on end with a newborn than a 1 year old. We can't take her for walks outside. We can't play outside. It's so cold that I don't even feel like taking her to the mall or Target (unprecedented). Tomorrow, though, we're going out.

I forgot to tell you about a really uncomfortable situation that occurred in NY at J's sister's over Xmas.

So we're all sitting around the breakfast table (I wrote a post last year about my feelings on large non-diner group breakfasts. My feelings remain), so it was uncomfortable chatter (for me) about sausage and eggs and how delicious the sausages were and the kids were picking up fruit with their bare, dirty hands and "Would you like more orange juice?" etc... In fairness, it was a very nice breakfast. My dislike of formal group breakfasts at home is an idiosyncracy or flaw of mine.

BIL (this is Good SIL's husband) is rich. He's CFO of some hedge fund, was in the army, went to West Point, I think. So he's not a warm and fuzzy type and he's super straightforward. I like him.

He said to his son (the nephew that drives everyone crazy bc he's really poorly behaved), "I love playing Legos with you on Xmas morning. I hope we play with them every Xmas. Can we?" The little boy smiled, looked down and responded, "I think." His dad then said, "I know that at some point, you'll only be doing it for me." CUTE MOMENT.

So MIL starts crying at the table. Everyone was like, "Awwww." And MIL said to her son-in-law, "I've never seen this side of you. You're so affectionate." Evil SIL (who has long disliked BIL- probably bc she's jealous that her sister is married and she's not) said, "Yeah, I've never seen it either. You're so loving.'" To be honest, I didn't really think anything of these comments. I was just sitting there, minding my business, tearing up pieces of sausage for Monkey.

Fast forward an hour: BIL asks his daughter (my niece through marriage): "Hey F, let's go play with your dollhouse." Evil SIL says, "Wow! You're on a roll this morning!" He walked out of the room to play with his daughter (un-phased). Then MIL said, "I had no idea he liked to spend quality time with his children!" Evil SIL chimes in, "Me neither!"

At this point, I was still minding my own business, attempting to feed Monk her bottle but I silently recognized that the situation could get hairy. They were basically coming clean that they thought BIL was a lukewarm father. Good SIL overheard and goes, "Seriously guys? This is the second time this morning you made comments like that. What the he*ll? Merry Christmas to you too."

AWKWARD.

So I guess this represents proof that it's not just me that receives MIL's and Evil SIL's f*cked up comments. This made me feel not so alone.

BIL is a guy, though- and in typically guy fashion, let's these comments roll off his back much better than I do. He truly just doesn't give a sh*t about what MIL thinks. While I also don't care what she thinks, I have trouble not wanting to be a b*tch to her. I must confess that on occasion, I enjoy pushing her buttons by telling her I approve of cross-dressing little boys and gay marriage and tattoos and smoking weed. To me, it is sport. My mom and grandma know this and have warned me that it's not good long-term. Let her think/say what she wants, don't fight it, it will be more stress on J in the long run, etc... But I would not like to push her buttons if she wasn't so insulting, rude and judgmental. I would love a cool, kind, funny mother-in-law.

Maybe one day I will get better. But then, without fail, a few hours pass, I finish my second glass of wine and I fail.