I received a few questions from my friend yesterday which lead me to believe that I might be able to expand upon yesterday's post. As a preliminary matter, since I'm home and basically at the mercy of my little girls all day, I realized that I have to intentionally carve out time for them to entertain themselves. It is tough, as Monkey is a chatter box and I don't like to ignore her or abandon her, but... I am good at entertaining myself and I want them to be good at entertaining themselves also.
ANYWAY-
BIL's sis from Georgia: As I was helping her with her iPhone, I saw she had a million pictures of a classroom. I asked her if she was a teacher and she said that she was a 3rd grade teacher. I was sort of envious that she had a profession where she gave a crap. I wouldn't even hang up my diplomas in my office bc I hated the place so much, let alone take pictures of the view or my work product with pride. MIL said to me, "There is a story behind that." MIL is prob just jealous of her beauty- if she were speaking of MY family like that? I'd give her a piece of my mind. Anyway, BIL's Georgian sister is married to a hispanic guy (or spanish- no clue) and has 2 daughters- one of whom she is amazed at her beauty and puts her in pageants and stuff. She also highlighted her hair from a very young age. I saw a pic of this little girl, expecting Jon Benet Ramsey or something. She was cute and thankfully not ho'd out in the pic that I saw. Her hair was also no longer highlighted. I know this information from Evil SIL, FYI. No pageants were mentioned at the party.
BIL's OTHER sister lives in the backwoods of VA, her husband is a professor at Vtech, and they have 6 of the most well-behaved children I've ever met. She is like a combination of mother earth and Mother Theresa. She is my idol when it comes to the way she talks to her children and the way her children behave. I mean, how can you have 6 children and have it NOT be chaos? Ask this girl. She was completely down to earth, SO nice and physically the polar opposite of her sister in Georgia. I can't even believe that they are related, let alone that they were raised together and entered this world through the same birth canal (TMI? Yeah, well I got drunk and told BIL's mom that I loved her. I meant like, 'OMG I love you.' But I'm fairly certain she took it as a profession of my love, which is fine because I really do wish she were my MIL and I would buy her lots of gifts and ask her to live with us. I told J about this profession of my love on the ride home and he confessed that he got drunk and gave BIL some speech about how he loved him and he's a great brother. At least BIL was hammered. BIL's mom doesn't even drink. Looks like we all woke up with the scaries that night.) Speaking of the scaries, the night before this party, I got a spray tan and they were running late so they gave me wine while I was waiting. I hadn't eaten yet and got drunk and the next morning woke up with the scaries. Ugh.
Aside: Right now Monkey is sitting next to me coloring on a Magna Doodle. Did you know those things are $20? Aside from her kitchen set and beanbag chair, which J and I use way more than Monk does- it was her most expensive Xmas gift.
Oh, and before I go- I also was in the position where I was able to tell MIL to mind her own biz the other week. FIL always asks if we take our golden retriever on long walks. And if we say, 'Yeah, we walk her around the neighborhood,' he will respond, 'No, I mean like really long walks.' Wtf? When? In between diaper changes? What is he getting at? He asks us this often enough that he knows the answer is "No." And then we look like neglectful dog owners. This dog has playmates galore and eats waffles on the reg- I think it's safe to say she is living the life. Anyway, I got fed up and said, "If you're so concerned about her exercise, then come over and walk her." MIL chimes in with a huff, 'Well she's not OUR dog!' I've never wanted to punch someone square in the f*cking face harder than I wanted to punch her. So instead of physically assaulting her, I said, "Then don't comment!" And I wasn't kidding and they knew it. I thought I was going to be escorted out but on the contrary, they've been kissing my butt ever since. This was 2 weeks ago. Apparently she is the type who will boss you around until you put her in her place, which is totally annoying and exhausting. Why must everything be a power struggle? Why does everyone want to control everyone else's actions?
This leads me to consider whose actions in life I try to control. Other than my babies, which I am supposed to control. It's been hard for me to watch my step-dad ruin everyone's life, that's for sure. I also used to have a hard time not feeling responsible for the actions of my dad and mom and brothers. One time in college my roommate and I were smoking the good stuff and I said something about how my dad always does X and Y and she said, 'Why don't you get off his back and accept him for who he is.' It hit me like a ton of bricks. She is so right and it's really made my life easier when I remember to heed this stoned advice.
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