Testosterone

Have you ever notice how much more quickly the months go by when you're on the pill?

In case you were wondering, I'll be getting my period sometime early next week. I also had it during my first week of work. My oh my, where has the time gone?? :)

No, for real, though. I didn't get it until I went back on the pill. Isn't that weird? I always just assumed I'd get it again once I had the baby. Like, 28 days after I had the baby. Nope. It didn't come. I know if you're breastfeeding it's not supposed to come (or sometimes doesn't come, rather), but I stopped BFing at 4 weeks, sooooooooo........ whatever. I'm just happy I didn't have to deal w it for almost an entire year. Although the cramping you get after you give birth (your uterus shrinking) combined with the post-birth bleeding feels like the worst period of your life.

I have all the tell-tale signs of PMS. Last night I got mad at J for no reason. At one point he was like, 'I feel like you're in the mood to argue.' I paused for a second and said, 'You're totally right. I'm sorry. I have PMS.' He understood. What a guy. Today my appetite was insatiable. I felt overly emotional about missing Monkey yesteryda and randomly insecure at my job. I wish the birth control didn't regulate hormones, but instead just plain old did away with them.

There was an episode of This American Life a few years back called Testosterone. One guy was interviewed who, for some reason or another, had no testerone at all in his body for a time period. He said he felt zero emotions- and he viewed the world totally differently &, seemingly, objectively. As if he were an outsider. I told J that I felt this might be wonderful. He vehemently disagreed. I understand the argument that what makes life life is the happiness, sadness, anger, drama, etc... but sometimes I feel like if this is in fact all there is then what is the point of all the pain & drama? Let's just chill out & get through it painlessly, ya know? We're all dying anyway. (For the record, I do believe in God. So I suppose emotions are not pointless. But sometimes they get in the way. And they're tiresome).

ANYWAY, I'm looking forward to busting out Monkey's summer clothes stash. In fact, she's already wearing a brand new "romper"- I hate that word. But, nonetheless, this gal ain't modest. Her pasty, chubby legs are chillin' for all to see.