Awkward Meetings

3 summers ago (Summer of 07) I worked for a ju*dge for free and for some spending cash I waitressed at a little restaurant with awesome food.  J was studying for the b*ar exam and we both lived with the jolly old in-laws.

I was hired at this restaurant on the contingency that I work during the fall.   I felt like this *probably* wasn't feasible, but I really needed the job so I rationalized, "Ok. I think I can make it work.  Maybe during l*aw school, I'll work one night a week."  I subsequently had the best time ever- it was such a nice change of pace from the serious legal world.

The summer ended, though & J and I moved to the nearby city with our darling beagle.  I didn't know how to quit so I told the manager I had car trouble and needed a few weeks before I could tell her my schedule and availability to work.  I was sweating bullets.  Mostly because I really WANTED to keep working there (but knew that it just wasn't feasible) and secondly because I really liked the manager and all the employees and didn't want to leave on bad terms.  Eventually I pulled a cowardly move and straight up never called her back.  I vividly call standing outside my l*aw school and cringing as I listened to her voice message, wondering why I wasn't calling her back.  It was the worst.

She was this super cool chick who is like 6 years older than me. I thought she was beautiful and sometimes during conversations I'd break out into a sweat because I was nervous. 

The staff was fun as h*ll.  At close, we'd all get our shift drink (I'd grab a large to go cup and basically select the most expensive pinot and pour half the bottle into it and down it as I mopped floors or cleaned up salad dressings, etc..).

Similar to the icky way I left my babysitting gig while pregnant, this exit has weighed upon me for years.  It is my unfinished busines.  If I died, my spirit would probably end up haunting the restaurant and I'd become a legend: the ghost who quit "on bad terms."  Everyone's worst nightmare.  Other ghosts would tell me to go get some real problems.

J & I now get take out from that restaurant.  He's always trying to get me to eat there or even be the one to pick up the food, but I keep refusing.  His response, "M, they won't remember you.  You worked there for 2 months."

But what he doesn't know is how good of friends I was with everyone.  And he's a guy.  Chicks remember each other.

Anyway, I was walking Monkey today in the stroller on the phone with my mom.  All of the sudden I hear, "HI! How are you!!???" 

Dude.  It was HER.  The old manager.  And she clearly forgot about how we ended things (I'm sure she's since remember and is like, 'Why didn't I ignore her.  What a biotch!').  We had a 30 minute conversation about everything- and she was like so excited that we're neighbors and wanted to know specifically which house and wanted us to get together for a glass of wine, etc..

The kicker is that her and Monkey share the same name.  God, I looked like such a creep. 

That said, I've fallen out of love with her (and I actually didn't name Monkey after her, but the fact that I loved her didn't hurt).  I was able to carry on a normal convo.  She remembered everything- that I was planning my wedding while working there, in la*w school, which servers I was tight with, etc.. I of course remembered everything about her.

When it ended bc Monkey was getting fussy, she didn't want it to end.  I've lived here for 2 years and this is the first I've seen her.  I wonder if I'll see her again.

I'm scared!

I ran home to tell Jim 'I told you so.'  I knew they'd remember me.

The kind of messed up part is that I still feel like I have unfinished business.  I mostly want to be friends with her because I want to unburden my conscience.  And a small part wants to be friends with her because she's an old crush.  Who am I kidding?