Crazy Train

I think it's safe to say I hopped back on.

Monday I discovered a freckle on my leg that I've had all my life looked a bit darker than it used to.  It was just a little guy and it hadn't grown, but it looked different.  So I made an appointment with the dermatologist.

Today the doc was like, 'It's slightly irregular.  It's hard for me to tell as I've never seen you before.  I have seen melanomas this small, but it is rare.  Like, 1 out of every couple thousand.  We could take a picture of it and watch it or I could biopsy it today.'

Umm... needless to say I was like, 'Please biopsy it.  Otherwise I will stare at it and think about it constantly.'

I hopped up on the table, held the hot nurse's hand (who am I to turn down this opportunity?  haha) and had that sucker sliced. 

I looked down at one point and my skin wasn't gushing blood as I envisioned, but there was a little hole in my calf.  Interesting.  He cauterized it (so J won't have to cut out my stitch with a scissors!) and bandaged it up.

In the waiting room I was attempting to check out.  The lady was ordering take out, which was fine.  Then she called me up.  While standing there, I became disheartened as I realized that I again convinced myself that I had skin cancer.  I thought, 'This is it.  The end of the road.'  And I felt sad.  Then images of the hole in my calf began to dance in my head.  Then I got really hot.  Then the lady wouldn't stop trying to encourage me to make another appointment NOW despite that I told her I'd call and make one because I like my calendar in front of me.  Then I felt nauseous.  Then I felt sweaty.  Then she started to go on a diatribe about how the appointments were going like "hot cakes" and I really should schedule.  My peripheral vision began to blur.  I realized I was about to faint.  How humiliating. 

"I have to sit down for a moment."  And then, trying not to bring any attention to myself, I sat there with my head between my legs (I racked my brain for home remedies for fainting). 

"You coming down with somethin'?" the lady asked.

"No....... I just have trouble dealing with needles and I got a shot."

She was satisfied and moved things along for me once I stood up. 

I burst outside and the cool air never felt better.  I sat on the curb and called J.  He didn't answer so I got temporarily mad at him for abandoning me in my time of need.

Anyway, I survived.  Hopefully it was nothing, but- you know me- I'm nuts.  I wish I could pop one of my pills, but it's not safe for a pregnant woman.

And thus ends my lunch-time doctor's appointment adventures.