My mom has a friend, Marie, from work- she's from China and has 2 children: Josephine and Willy. They're only 16 months apart in age and they're the best of friends.
When Marie found out she was pregnant with numero 2 (Willy), Josephine was only about 7 months old. She was upset beause she thought they'd be too close in age. But, as I note above, that is not the case. They now take karate together and are each others' best friends.
This is how my little brother and I were.
On the contrary, Good SIL had J's super hyperactive nephew (and my nephew now) first and when he was 11 months, the little girl came along. The little girl is an angel. But, as my older brother did to my family, he rules the roost. The entire family revolves around his behavioral issues. It is a shame. I don't know the solution. I don't know what the solution should've been for my family either.
Sometimes I think, 'The parents need to be more strict!' and then, as an example, I'll think of a couple who happens to be strict but also has well-behaved kids. Like my aunt & uncle. But, as my aunt pointed out last Christmas, her kids have never given her any trouble. Which came first?
It's kind of like my dogs. They're effing CRAZY. This very well be my fault and J's fault for not getting them out enough: our hours are too long at work, we didn't properly socalize them, blah blah blah. But the fact is, some people have calm dogs and they don't walk them for 3 hours a day or live at the dog park. I love my beasts and totally accept them in all their craziness (as I would a child), but I hope the craziness is my life is limited to my dogs- I know it won't be.
When people find out at my job I make light of the situation and say something along the lines of, "We thought we'd get number 2 out of the way!"
And my copy man (who is one of my top 3 favorite people at my job- he's the one who walks around the office whistling and singing on the top of his lungs and watches Yankees games online during the summer months) said to me, 'Oh, darling, you're not getting anything out of the way- you have just begun.'
And this made me really happy. Because I don't want to feel like anything is over.
Even if my kids end up terribly behaved like Good SIL's kid (actually, if my kid ends up like him, I'm gonna stay at a high paying job and send his a$$ to bootcamp. I'm not living with a replica of my older brother- whom I love dearly).
But anyway, what got me thinking about this, is since we announced our new arrival to the rest of the world, we've subjected ourselves to comments and judgment which is inevitable and 100% expected. For example, I knew MIL would think it was too soon (literally every time we saw her she told us to wait 4 years- as if we'd give her opinion any weight). But my stepmother also thinks its too soon, as do many silent others which is perfectly fine by me as I pass judgment on people's decisions all the time. Look at how I am with my in-laws!
But I appreciate the most the people in our lives who haven't worried about the details, or passed judgments vocally, or killed it with questions ("What about your job? What are you gonna tell work? How can you handle it?"). My paternal (and crazy in a good way) grandma called my mom (her ex-daughter in law) to celebrate with her on the phone, screaming in delight over the ultrasound pictures and excitedly predicting that it's a boy. My hot stripper secretary who sat there staring at my ultrasound pictures with me for over an hour on Friday. And there were other people (including readers of this blog, which I really appreciate)! It's simply more fun to enjoy it and not worry. I am taking my doctor's advice much better this time- he kept reminding me, 'It's OUR job to worry. Your worries won't change any situation that comes to pass.' It has already made this pregnancy more enjoyable.
So while I'm praying for a Josephine and Willy (or 2 girls - I have no preference), I'm just happy the little one's coming along and pray for health. And thank God for paid maternity leave. Fingers crossed that I get to take advantage of it this time.
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