A few things I'm looking forward to:
1. Being able to bang again. I miss non-pregnant s*x. Unfortunately, we have just under 4 more wks to go.
2. The opportunity to work on my kegels in the meantime- despite having done countless kegels while pregnant, it's obvious things aren't up to snuff down there.
3. Baby not feeling so tiny and fragile. Perhaps I should look fondly upon nighttime feedings for this reason- she's growing!
4. Baby's first real smile, for obvious reasons.
5. Being able to exercise again... although I'm not sure when I'll find the time/energy/desire to do this. No ab stuff til 6 wks post-partum, though. Like I mentioned before, they have to "grow" back together first. Ick.
6. Spring (although I dread it partly bc I worry about the Baby in anyone else's care...but maybe after #3 is reached, I won't be so anal about leaving her w someone else).
7. Good SIL's baby's birth- I'm dying to know its gender.
8. Baby getting big enough to sleep through the night.
9. My step-dad finding a job. He lost his job 5 months ago & has been going on a lot of interviews. We certainly have our differences (and I wish he was normal), but I do pray that he finds a job.
I'm also trying to focus on the good parts of going back to work. Like being able to afford work clothes, paying back my student loans, using the legal side of my brain, etc... I would be much more excited about it if I was assured in some way that the baby would survive day care. My f*cked up mind keeps on dwelling on all the "what ifs"- What if someone drops her? What if someone is mean to her? What if she chokes? What if she suffocates bc she rolled over in her crib & nobody noticed? And part of me is jealous!! I'm jealous that someone else will be able to spend so much time w her (although I do hope they love her at daycare). So the jealousy thing is small. I can live w jealousy. The paranoia, though, has to go.
I also feel guilty about only having off 2.5 months for maternity leave. I feel like a bad mom.
2 comments:
Dude, daycares are in the business of keeping your kids alive and well. If they neglect them, they are out of business. I think she'll be ok.
Great list! I hope that baby sleeps through the night soon and that your getting laid when it happens! Also, heres to hoping the step-dad finds a job - which by the way, you saying that about him made you sound real nice. Not that you sounded mean before...I'm just saying. :)
Post a Comment