Annnd...

I'm losing my d*amn mind.

On one hand, today I felt really blessed.  My office through me a wonderful baby shower and were so freaking generous.  I'm BFFs with like every secretary and they went out of their way to bake items and had so much excitement on their faces when I walked in.  When I do find a new j*ob, it is them that I will miss the most.  :(

On the other hand, my head is splitting, my coffee didn't perk me up this morning, I have some sort of weird pregnancy-related hip issue, Monkey cried herself to sleep out of exhaustion (which is SUPER stressful), the doggies- a certain doggie who desperately needs exercise- is breathing her hot breath (which smells disturbingly like urine) in my face, J is as stressed about Monkey as I am and is snapping at the dogs who are rough-housing (which oddly stresses me out even more even I am totally wanting to snap at the dogs too).   I know it has very little to do with my surroundings and pretty much everything to do with ME and my hormones bc this morning I felt this way as well.  Before I even GOT to work I got all p*ssed off thinking about how Libya became our problem and how so many Americans are losing their lives attempting to help these Middle Eastern countries who can't be bothered to help themselves.  See what I mean?  My mood didn't have a chance.  Losing myself in pop culture on the internet was my only "pick me up."

I pride myself during my first pregnancy for attending so many holiday-related family get togethers.  No wonder I freaked out at Evil SIL when she accused me of giving a sh*t if she was married or single after she spent 2 hours on the phone with me describing how she spent NYE alone.  Of all the many times I couldn't give a sh*t about her dating life (or lackthereof), the end of my third trimester is numero uno! 

Speaking of Evil SIL, J spoke w her today (an unusual event).  She's attempting to relocate to NYC from Chicago.  Do you KNOW how much this b*ums me the f*ck out??  Dude... Since she moved to Chi-town, I have only had to deal with her on rare occasions.  NYC is a little too close to where I am currently residing.  Was there NO MAN in Illinois willing to take her off of our hands?  No man or woman or beast or God? Am I supposed to be learning some sort of life lesson through her presence in my life?  I remember before I met her and I was already completely head over heels in love with J I actually thought to myself (not induce your vomiting or what have you), "I love him so much that I love his mom, sisters and entire family by association."  Woah, buddy.  WOOOOAAAAH BUDDY.  Slow your roll, girlfriend.  Slow your roll.

So anyway, she hasn't gotten the job yet, but she feels pretty sure that it's hers.   We shall see.  One of the "perks" of this gig would be that she was closer to... Good SIL and Good SIL's kids!!  J and I had a good laugh over this one.  I scoffed to him, "Interestingly enough (or not), I cannot relate."  To which he responded, "yeah...right?"  And then we laughed.... I am very thankful for him.  I am very thankful that we share the same sentiments. 

Anyway, I digress.

So the baby appears to have fallen asleep and I am praying that she wasn't crying because she is sick or something.  The dogs have calmed down.  My belly is rumbling.  Dinner is something I should take care of bc J is working his a$$ off at the dining room table and I am pretty much about to hit the unemployment line.  But I'm also an incubator- and I have a tender spot on my lower mid abdomen at this moment that I have to Google to make sure that something crazy isn't going down with daughter numero 2.  But even Googling health issues seems like a lot right now- and that is saying something.  Because even the most frail of us humans can typically muster up the energy to diagnose themselves with a terminal illness courtesy of WebMD.  And don't pretend that ain't the truth.