Shower

I'm totally freaked out.

I was shooting the breeze with my secretary today when she mentioned a photo was on her desk.  She said "Come check it out when you get the chance," to which I responded, "Are you going back over there? I'll come."  (She doesn't sit right outside my office, which is kind of annoying but whatever).  We walk over and she said, "It's my wallpaper."  I wait for her to minimize her screen and her Outlook email pops up.

There in bold is an unread email from the fi*rm's head partner that says, "Surprise Baby Shower."  She struggled to quickly minimize her email.  I pretended I didn't see it.

I don't want to be presumptuous but.............. I am the only pregnant chick in that office.  Also, I didn't get the email.

I am super nervous.  For starters, I am uncomfortable being the center of attention and accepting gifts!  So if this shower ends up NOT for me, I will be really happy.   I think a big part of me feels uncomfortable with a shower because I feel like par*tners there secretly hate me and regret hiring me.  Like, they hired me under the presumption that I would do nothing with my life but do work.  And with regard to staff- while I am pretty much best friends with all of them- I know that I make a lot more money than them and I feel bad accepting their gifts.  And then I feel super guilty because I've been really slow lately.  I was asked to help out on a dea*l, but after I told the partner (in a different office) that the latest I would be here is Sept 16, she basically asked somebody else.  I'm happy to have time to get ready for the baby, but professionally, I kind of feel like a loser who is about to get laid off.  AHHH!!!  Okay, enough job venting.  Thank you for hanging in there.

I will keep you posted.  If there IS a shower and it IS for me, I'm glad I saw the email so I can actually start dry cleaning my pants and sufficiently primping for my remaining 4 weeks at work.  Lately, I've been dressing in unpressed pants covered in golden hair.

So anyway, that may or may not be news.

I also became convinced that the golden got fleas and the house is now infested, despite that nobody has flea bites but me (although J thinks they're mosquito bites, which they might be).  So after picking up Monk, I scrubbed the house completely.  Nothing feels better than a clean house.  Like, nothing.

Also this week I think I wrote how I took a long lunch break and washed all of our newcomer's clothing in baby detergent.  It's all hanging in her closet waiting for her.  This makes me feel a lot better.  I still need to pick up little baby socks, diapers, and some of those little baby mittens. 

While I still have a month left of pregnancy, I think I feel well versed on a summer pregnancy enough to compare it to a winter pregnancy.  And I'm gonna go ahead and tell you that I, personally and OFFICIALLY, MUCH prefer the summer pregnancy (Disclaimer: I never am overheated and usually am freezing, so being pregnant, I feel the perfect temperature most of the time.  I also haven't experienced swelling.  I hear these 2 things make summer excruciating for many pregnant women.).   I feel more free in clothing (a sun dress and heels or flip flops, maternity pants and a short sleeved shirt compared to jeans, boots, a sweater, a huge coat, sneakers and trudging through snow).  If I have a third? I'm getting knocked up around the same time and getting some more use out of my summer maternity clothing.  Also, I did not have to endure any major family holidays (Xmas, Thanksgiving) sober, nor did I miss out on autumn beers.  Easter really isn't a huge drinking holiday for me and, while I lamented not drinking over vacation, I was sort of focused on watching Monkey so I didn't notice (another reason why this pregnancy was easier- not drinking the first time around was a much greater sacrifice since I usually only have had 2 drinks tops since Monk was born- I mean... the chick wakes up at around 630-7).   That said, I'm ready to jump back on the wagon.  I miss booze.  But you already knew that, and that's why I love you and this blog.  :)

When I think back to last Halloween it feels like a dream.  Monkey was still so young and I had no idea that I'd be embarking upon the whole pregnancy thing again so soon, although I definitely wanted to.  I fit into my jeans at that time.  Putting her in her little duck costume was such a happy time for me.  She was so good-natured about the entire thing and there just wasn't one aspect of having a baby around the holidays (starting with Halloween) that I did not love.  Although, I have to confess, that I did not have fun at Xmas at Good SIL's with Evil SIL being around and Good SIL's horribly behaved children up on Monkey's grill- I truly felt like Monkey was unsafe at that house.  And furthermore, she was sick- with terribly weepy eyes.  And every time she is sick I have trouble focusing on anything but her physical health and well-being.  I cannot relax. And then J got sick and I could tell he wanted us to stay home on Xmas with him (which is totally reasonable) but I insisted on taking Monkey to my gma's where she puked.  Member this fun?  So, yeah, Christmas was a little hectic. 

To the extent that I asked J today if he thought we'd have to go to SIL's this Xmas.  Since Monkey is mobile, it is harder for me to keep tabs on her at every moment and it makes it very stressful for me to have her around Good SIL's terribly behaved children - who are not at all gentle with her.  In fact, both of them try to "tickle" her on and around her diaper..... Umm... a little too close to molestation to me.  Furthermore, the 4.5 year old gets jealous and steals Monkey's toys and eats Monkey's food.  GAH. More on that later.

Anyway, I will forever fondly remember the short time period where Monkey was my one and only.  I assume I will love this little girl just as much, although I cannot fathom loving anyone to the extent that I love my Monk.  My sweet little tree monkey.  My pooh bear.  My girl.