Woah

Okay, I know I just posted.  But I just saw my ticker.  37 days to go???

To be honest, I'm totally bugging out.  I have a million things on my mind:  How will Monkey handle it?  How will I handle both the new baby and Monkey? What will it be like?

I'm also bugging about my job.  I said I'd look for a new one right after the baby is born.  We all know that the job I currently have just isn't working out- with the feast or famine workload, the completely unpredictable schedule that gives me very little work during the working hours and work week (typically) and then absolutely dominates and destroys pretty much every holiday for me.  Am I crazy for thinking about leaving my job?  I've been filling out my evaluation and, to be honest, I wouldn't be surprised if they straight up asked me to leave anyway- after that terrible experience I had in October with that biotch on top of not working enough hours (despite the millions of hours I worked in May)... I just don't feel like it's for me.

I guess when I am honest with myself this situation is pretty much out of my control.  I really can't do anything until after the baby is born... and then it is sort of up to potential future employers and God to determine my next step.  All that I can do is submit resumes and wait and see. 

I wonder if there is a job out there that is for me: that will enable me to schedule time to spend with my babies- even if that time is on a weekend or holiday.  What will my life be like if I end up facing a long bout of unemployment?  One of my main (unanticipated concerns) is disrupting Monkey's schedule.  I really love her daycare and would love to always keep her there part-time as a pre-school no matter what... But dude.... the price is no joke.

Alright, I'm done venting about it.  If you have made it this far, I appreciate you allowing me to vent about my career woes this year.