Dumpster Kitties

Whenever I'm experiencing mental blockage, I write about old funny weed stories from waaay back. I never want to forget these stories.

For example:

The summer after our freshman year of college, my 3 friends and I smoked every day- usually in the car bc we all lived w our parents (we were 19, so drinking was a pain). Then we'd usual saunter into our favorite diner for cigarettes, food, and nonsense. But both before and after we entered that diner, we'd hop in our car and roll around back to the diner's huge dumpster. Simultaneously, we'd roll down the windows facing the dumpster & be super quiet (which was probably more like 'GUYS! SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!' on the tops of our lungs). Then we'd whisper, 'pssspsspss, here kitty kitty. pssspssspsss.' That's when the miracle occurred: out of the blue, a million kittens would dart every which way from the dumpster (in retrospect, probably in fear & horror). We would cheer like our team just one the superbowl. After the rainbow of kittens subsided, a single straggler would dart alone from the dumpster. My friend, TheBlind, would shout, in frustration, 'He never learns his lessons!' And we'd agree with passion. He never did. And then we'd drive off, discussing the events that transpired.

Often we'd then go to our gay friend's house. His mom ruled. She was a 2nd grade teacher & always watching the latest reality TV show. We'd tell her about the kittens & she'd remind us to take cat food next time (ahhh, the purposeful thoughts of one who didn't smoke their brains out). We'd usually watch an hour or so of TV with this wonderful woman. Sometimes we'd go downstairs & stare at his dad's taxidermy collection or his 100 year old Chinchilla. One time we watched his gay porn in the basement (I had never seen gay porn). If I end up super rich and this house ever goes on the market, I plan on purchasing it- complete with all its furnishings. It's the homiest home I've ever visited. Nothin' but warm fuzzies.

This is one of the few times in my life that I actively miss- like, when I think about it, my heart aches & I become frustrated at ridiculous things, like the inability to turn back time or the fact that we all decided to do things w our lives other than work dead end $7/hr summer jobs & go on bake rides every day.