Bellies and Jesus

Remember I told you how my stomach is all weird and sloppy now bc of the ole' pregnancy?

Well, my Born-Again-Christian pregnant friend (I'll call her "Jesus") posted facebook pics of her pregnant self at 12 weeks & 16 weeks. Due to my studying, we haven't been able to hang out in forever. A likely story. Anyway, Jesus is 8 weeks ahead of me. I'm 15 weeks now. And yo, I feel like my kid is either not growing fast enough or I'm going to give birth to a midget, because she was HUGE at 12 weeks. And even bigger at 16. The average person would look at me in a bikini and just think, "Damn.... look who hasn't been working out- but look who also got a boob job," as opposed to "OMG! Pregnant!"

I have no qualms about growing a child at my own pace- not having to invest in maternity clothes just yet is a good thing, as I'm unemployed. Come to think of it.... I don't really have anywhere to go anyway. I guess it doesn't really matter how big I am. I'm just concerned for the little guy's health.

I called the doctor and he was like ,'The baby had a strong heartbeat, everything looked consistently great. This is your first pregnancy. Sometimes it can take up to 20 weeks until you really look pregnant. That's why you hear of those teenagers who gave birth and had no idea they were pregnant.' I was like, 'Umm... ok. Thanks.' And that was that. I asked J if I should go to the emergecy room. He said, 'Dude. Your stomach did not look like that before this whole fiasco. Study for the damn bar exam!' And off I went deep into the world of Criminal Procedure, to re-learn that one has no reasonable expectation of privacy to paint chippings from their car.

I feel somewhat guilty having forgot I was pregnant for the passed few days. Until after the 2nd part of the exam today. I was desperate for about a gallon of whiskey to blow off some steam. Then I remembered it was off limits, and I decompressed in a more puritan fashion- the way I imagine Jesus (this time, I only mean the one in heaven) might: by eating an ice cream sandwich while laying on the couch watching Sex and the City.