I'm not going to turn this into a baby blog- since weed and babies don't exactly mix- but I've got some things on my mind. Namely, that my body has been overtaken.
1. Acne. Left side of my chin and neck, I am crater-filled. I often stare at it in the mirror- in disbelief. I haven't had zits like this since 7th grade. And even then.... unsure. Either way, it's bad. I haven't been wearing make up because I haven't been going anywhere. Just studying at home. I ran out of spray foundation (they don't sell it at Ulta, which is nearby) & touching it with my bare fingers and regular foundation gives me the creeps. I apologize to J every night that he has to kiss this face- And he does!! What a guy.
2. I haven't gained a pound yet. This concerns me because I've been eating like a horse (because I'm starving all the time) and I'm pregnant, so..... weight gain right? The doctor said that often w first pregnancies, you will waiver between 1 and 5 pounds (which I suppose I have) & then within 4 weeks you will just gain, like, 10 pounds. But you can go for up to 6 months without showing for your first. I've been eating ice cream sandwiches like its my job. And McDonalds. And also super healthy things for the kiddo. Either way, I'm convinced the baby has stopped growing because I'm morbid and paranoid.
3. Stomach. I'll take a picture of it when my acne-damaged self-esteem returns to normal. Or when I make peace w my new complexion. I have a pouch under my belly button (think FUPA). Totally hot, right? By evening my stomach looks like the bloated belly of those poor African kids- more even. So I actually prefer my evening belly to my morning belly. This is a first.
4. Hair. Totally greasy all the time. I have to wash it every day. But after taking one hard look at my complexion in the mirror, I feel like such a dirty teenager that washing anything and everything is my pleasure.
5. Mood. Just ask J. W the combination of the bar exam, pregnancy horomones (which, as evidenced by my skin- are RAGING), and having to figure out a plan for a job until I start work (I should be hearing from my job today, by the way)- I'm not exactly a pleasure. I'm fine in the morning and during the day, but I am so sleepy by night time (like a kid), that I get so moody. The fights I pick are embarassing. I wake up in the morning so happy that divorce papers aren't taped to my b*tchy forehead. 3 nights ago we were laying in bed and I blurted out, "I'm SO MAD AT YOU. UGHHHH." And J goes, "How come?" And I thoughtfully responded, "I don't even know!!!" He kind of laughed and goes, "Well how is that fair?" And I told him it wasn't but it was just this emotion that has overtaken me. Then we watched Golden Girls and all was right w the world. We watch an episode from season 1 every night before bed.
6. Jeans. I need one of those belly bands because they don't button bc of my new FUPA. I haven't gotten one yet, so in the 2 hour periods where I do venture out of my yoga pants, I cruise the streets with my pants secretly unbottoned.
7. Boobs. Possibly the only reason J hasn't left my sorry a$$ yet. They're big, and I love 'em. Most of my bras don't fit anymore and I often stare at them in the mirror, finally understanding what the hype is all about. They're a welcomed addition to my body. BUT I must confess, whilst procrastinating the other day, I began to look up old photos on my lap top - photos of me pre-pregnancy. I missed Little Boobs. They were really easy. And they were accompanied with a more normal stomach. And my shirts fit better. And life was easier. Mainly because, well, these suckers HURT.
See? I'm every man's dream. Actually, what I really am is an overdeveloped 7th grader. Every 27 years old's dream.
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